Dorrk Dot Com

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-07-25

Dorrk.com — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000

If he was 20ft tall, why did he climb the tree? @clackamasfire Male that fell out of tree … Approx 20ft fall, he was picking cherries.-SM #
Man Utd pre-season match vs. Philadelphia on ESPN2 in minutes. Looking for some Fabio/Obertan/Cleverley/Macheda/Welbeck magic today… #
Movie starring @CrispinGlover and @tomgreenlive http://imdb.to/5pOei9 Would rather see feature-length "behind-the-scenes" than movie itself. #
My current hometown Milwaukie, OR is home of the Bing Cherry. Suck it, Tigard! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milwaukie,_Oregon #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-07-18

Dorrk.com — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000

Agh. Retweeted wrong tweet. hold on. #
That's more like it. #
@ManUnitedYouth Do you know what's going on with Davide Petrucci this season? Is he injured, or drifting between youth and reserve teams? in reply to ManUnitedYouth #
First tweet from new #iPhone4. Twitter dragged on my old 2nd gen phone. This is zippy. #
Fun fact: AT&T stores sold out of all #iPhone4 cases that aren't pink, purple or plaid. Using spare Marware case for 2g phone. Fits ok-ish. #
Is it weird that I find the bar scene in #Gremlins far too silly, but don't feel that way about the entire rest of the movie? #
Strange mental connection: watching #Gremlins trapped in burning movie house evoked brilliant finale of #inglouriousbasterds : unsettling #
Contemplating editing #Gremlins for my kids. Just a few too-intense, gory scenes, but not sure if movie still worth watching without them. #
OK, Gizmo speeding around in Barbie car also unecessarily ridiculous, but it may be more ridiculous to apply any such standard to #Gremlins #
I'm sure it goes without saying for any guy from my generation: Phoebe Cates circa 1982-1984 is the perfect girl, even clothed in #Gremlins #
World cup final highlights, re-enacted with Legos: http://gu.com/p/2tbgt/tw #
@Natron7 Call me if you want some FaceTime. I have my phone in my pants. in reply to Natron7 #
Just told my 6yo daughter that her beloved great-great-aunt Kackie passed away. It's her first really conscious encounter with death. Sad. #
I didn't experience close-to-intermediate family member dying until I was in my 20s. This is 5th(?) to pass for daughter, 1st she knew well. #
Trying to see if I can sync #googlecalendar, #iphone4 & #thunderbird calendar with admin control from all interfaces. About 2/3 there. #
Daughter wearing my old college-era t-shirt as makeshift nightgown… http://tweetphoto.com/32917007 #
New entry on my #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads : "Melissa" from 1983 slasher #SweetSixteen http://imdb.to/cFG9XI #
Twitter doesn't archive far enough back, but you can find some #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads entries here: http://bit.ly/9772Ux #
If I ever get around to finishing upgraded website I'll post video/audio of each song in #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads #
6yo daughter has "boyfriend" she met in preschool. He has 4yo sister. Report from playdate: my 4yo son just gave her flowers. #truelovewaits #
@joshuatopolsky http://twitpic.com/25w18r – A little simplistic to assume crabs were being dumped. Possible a crab posted the sign, and that #
Since I did twitcrit on other 3 #Stepfather flicks, only fair that I include dubious 1992 threequel http://imdb.to/bm2oQV #
#Stepfather III begins w/ title character getting plastic surgery to look unlike series star Terry O'Quinn, who wanted nothing to do with it #
Since it was O'Quinn alone who made 1st #Stepfather notable, but failed to redeem crappy Pt2, outlook for Locke-free Pt3 not good #
Promising high quality lousiness, our psycho #Stepfather is (while dressed as rabbit!) focusing his rejuved mania on single mom w/ gimp son #
Nice casting of #Stepfather III lead char stand-in who sounds remarkably like O'Quinn. His target played by #3scompany vet Priscilla Barnes #
Interesting twist: as #Stepfather preys on single mom, he's stalked by her psycho-lite previous boyfriend… #
As I type, single mon's ex-beau bludgeoned with garden tools. #Stepfather shows him not to do "psycho" half-assed. #
#Stepfather thought gimpy stepson less likely to prove mortal foe, but gimpy stepson uses nascent Internet to sleuth suspicious stepdad! #
#Stepfather employs revolutionary physical therapy on paraplegic stepson: berate him until spinal injury revealed as mere sloth! #
Hey #Stepfather in Pt3, holding manic psycho outbursts in open backyard not as private as previous basement locations. You're slipping. #
"Drew Carey Show"'s Christa Miller has early supporting role in #Stepfather III as considerably less psycho stepparent #
I suspect getting caught by priest while courting replacement for disappointing new family may be where #Stepfather begins to unravel in Pt3 #
Another notable #Stepfather III casting coup: "bra-less wonder" and Desperate Housewives dead narrator Brenda Strong as TV news reporter. #
#Stepfather used to setup shadow families in distant cities. Double life in same small town may be more than a homicidal maniac can handle. #
#Stepfather series does raise compelling ?: How shifty & psycho does a man have to act before single mom discounts him as potential husband? #
Is there no point at which maternal instinct to protect children from maniacs outweighs desperate thirst for remarriage? #Stepfather #
Potential for sublime horribleness aside #Stepfather III mostly ordinarily bad so far. Doesn't reach ludicrous depths of Pt2. #
#Stepfather is slipping: Goes to great effort to reclaim evidence from scene only to lazily leave said bloody evidence in coat pocket: Doh! #
#Stepfather III a testament to miraculous healing powers of mass murder. Crippled children just need better motivation. What spinal injury? #
#Stepfather III closed door to sequel – unless you know a plastic surgeon who doesn't mind digging through a wood chipper for spare parts… #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-07-11

Dorrk.com — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000

Great movie title: "Petey Wheatstraw, the Devil's Son-In-Law" Looking forward to this Rudy Ray Moore obscurity: http://imdb.to/cuCZCJ #
Had this movie on the shelves when I worked at Blockbuster in the 90s. Now watching it for first time: http://amzn.to/d3Pl6S #GatorBait #
#GatorBait is pure #joebobbriggs half-nude bayou gals, atrocious Cajun accents, corrupt redneck lawmen, violent revenge + cute tiny kittens! #
#GatorBait reveals the anthropological fact that all backwoods swamp girls are impossibly ripe nymphs with smudges of grime on their faces. #
#GatorBait also reveals that best method of cleansing smudges from said ripe nymph faces is skinny dipping. This is science. #
Sadly there's a very real chance that #GatorBait could very quickly slip from campy exploitation into something unwatchably cruel. #
#GatorBait just took cruel turn with gusto, but was thankfully quick about it. Let's just say that impending bayou justice is well-earned. #
FTR I suspect that any similarities between #GatorBait and Disneyland's Splash Mountain attraction are purely coincidental. #
One does wonder, however, how many times Walter Hill watched #GatorBait prepping for Southern Comfort. As a how-not-to guide, with tits. #
That's enough #GatorBait for tonight. Doubt that stopping with 30 mins to go will leave me sleeplessly craving resolution. #
#NED will probably win, but I loathe Dirk Kuyt. Fingers crossed for #URU 3-1 victory. #worldcup #
Shouldn't S. Africans resent #NED for starting that whole apartheid thing? How do you say "Stockholm Syndrome" in #vuvuzela ? #worldcup #
There's a mispelling on Dirk's #NED shirt. That should be "unt" not "uyt" #worldcup #
Which is greater? GVB's age or the number of yards on that rocket? #NED 1-0. #worldcup #
#NED should really be able to run riot now. #URU will have to attack. We'll see if they go for it, or play safe like #worldcup so far. #
Does that mean he'll call off his Youtube copyright cops? RT @engadgetalt: Prince says the internet is 'over' http://bit.ly/cYmzlo #
My Diego! #URU 1-1 #NED #worldcup #
Diego Forlan #URU & Sarah Jessica Parker #worldcup #lookalikes #
That looked offside to me. #NED 2-1 harsh on #URU #worldcup #
Well that should wrap it up. #URU stunned, #NED 3-1 #worldcup #
Forlan subbed out for #URU pretty much a white flag. He has been brilliant. #worldcup #
IMO #URU has been 2nd most enertaining squad at this #worldcup after the evil #deutschbags #
#URU pull a late one back 2-3 #worldcup Too late, right? #
#NED win 3-2 but wasn't that a 2nd yellow for Van Bommel in final seconds, with no red? #worldcup #
Catching up on old #KarateKid http://amzn.to/c4qJzk Pt 1 holds up well, Pt2 weak but inoffensive. WTF Pt 3? Insanely shitty throughout. #
#KarateKid III had ludicrous over-the-top villain, idiotic plot, astonishingly limp finale. Wanted Martin Kove fest, but Kove barely in it. #
We need movie starring Martin Kove as Will Ferrell's dad. Teaches him karate to fight old bully @jeremypiven (hint hint, @ghostpanther) #
I'm going to try and jinx #GER by predicting they will win today's #worldcup semi v. #ESP 4-3. Despite my hatred, #GER + Ozil deserve final. #
Watching #worldcup as brief power outage blinks off lights … but not cable, tv or any of 3 computers in room #ilovemyupsbatteries #
ESP 1-0 #GER We could well have a rare final without a previous #worldcup winner in it. #
Thought #GER might nick early goal creating more open game, but #ESP scored 1st late & #GER have really struggled vs good defence #worldcup #
#GER is hoping Gomez can dig them out? Sad day for #GER. #worldcup #
I am LOVING Billy Crudup's great performance in #PrettyBird http://amzn.to/aUfOo5 as douchey salesman spearheading invention of a rocketbelt #
#PrettyBird is sort of a love letter to annoying pushy schmoozing salesmen who nevertheless play vital role in production of new tech. #
In #PrettyBird Paul Giamatti also great as gruff scientist on project. Writen & directed by actor Paul Schneider. #
#PrettyBird released in 2008 & not well-liked on IMDb or Netflix, but I am utterly charmed by it. Does it go horribly wrong in last 30 mins? #
#PrettyBird takes weird dark turn & ending is too open, but still has refreshing optimism about the possibilities of entreprenuerism. Nice. #
#FF Just in case #NED win #worldcup on Sunday, you may want to follow @BobbiEden who has novel (and NSFW!) plan to celebrate (on you) … #
Go #URU ! Want a Forlan hattrick, No Klose #GER ! Injury will blessedly prevent him from becoming all-time top #worldcup scorer today. #yay #
Can actually enjoy this fun #Ger side as Klose is sidelined. I did cheer for #Ger last #worldcup 3rd pl match because #POR were assholes #
Although I'd prefer #URU win, rather expect a #Ger romp #worldcup #
And #Ger is off the mark: 1-0 #worldcup #
#URU draw level 1-1 Let's keep this match lively! #worldcup #
Lace up that golden boot! Forlan #URU 2-1 #Ger #worldcup #
#URU goalie having bad day #Ger 2-2 #worldcup #
Forlan needs another 1-2 goals. Fear he will get subbed out soon. Doesn't look like he can make through an overtime. #URU #worldcup #
Drat. #Ger late header 3-2. but #URU love coming from behind… #worldcup #
#URU with last second free kick to tie – hits the post! Game over #Ger 3-2 #worldcup Forlan will replay that kick over and over in his head #
Indifferent to #ESP & #NED, but hate few NEDs (Kuyt, Robben, RVP) + remembered I have #ESP jersey around here somewhere. Go #ESP #worldcup #
Alonso #ESP has douchey rep for getting players sent off, but that #NED foul deserved a red. #worldcup #
I'm getting the sense that both #ESP and #NED would be embarassed if they scored. Is it out of fashion? Politically incorrect? #worldcup #
This game needs Torres. #ESP #worldcup #
This game needs Zidane to headbutt someone. #worldcup #
Newbies to #worldcup should never watch 1st round of group stage and rarely the final. Those matches usually have life sucked out of them. #
I am so glad ABC just aired skanky "Bachelor Pad" commercial as I watch #worldcup with 6yo daughter. #
During this break, someone with #ESP needs to teach Iniesta to use his left foot. #worldcup #
Jinxing it now, but if Robben #NED becomes a hero tonight it will nauseated me. Rather have Scouse girl Torres vindicated. #worldcup #
Heitinga sent off for #NED and #ESP with free kick outside box. No goal. #worldcup #
I hope every #NED fan who fantasizes that orange team still plays with attacking flair is watching this. This is not 1974-2006 #worldcup #
But if Sneijder wins it, good for him. he is top class. #NED #worldcup #
#ESP #worldcup 1-0 #
Don't weep for joy yet #ESP Defend. #worldcup #
Torres is such a girl's blouse #Esp #worldcup #
Congrats #ESP for trying so hard to lose so many matches and failing. #worldcup #
Hooray for Xavi, Iniesta, Ramos, Casillas, Fabregas #ESP who truly deserve honor. I will laugh at Robben #NED sad for Sneijder #worldcup #
Also congrats to Pique and Puyol #ESP #worldcup #
LOL at #NED manager derisively taking off runners-up medal immediately after getting it #worldcup #
Daughter is pleased #ESP won. Villian in current bedtime story is from #NED #worldcup #
Forlan lost tie-breaker for #worldcup Golden Boot (top scorer/assists) to #Ger Mueller, but won Golden Balls award for shiniest nads. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-07-04

Dorrk.com — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 06:02:00 +0000

Those can be hard to find right now. I would try ANY STORE IN HOLLAND @snoopdogg "Need netherlands soccer jersey fo show 2night n Amsterdam" #
My almost 4yo got an early birthday present tonight: his first issue of Playboy. http://tweetphoto.com/29743413 #
No need predicting that #NED & #BRA would win today in #worldcup Tuesday's matches more interesting. I call: #JAP 2-1 #PAR & #POR 4-2 #ESP #
@evilhag This might cure your current mummy obsession: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gisz022idSk in reply to evilhag #
#worldcup QF winner predictions: #BRA #URU #ARG #ESP. #
Sneijder aside, this is my least fave #NED team in 20 years. #worldcup #
Awesome #BRA goal. WHAT A PASS! #worldcup #
There goes the #NED plan of boring us to death. #worldcup #
Drat #NED fluke 1-1 #worldcup #
We are now a Robben dive away from another lousy result #NED #BRA #worldcup #
Ok #BRA start digging. #worldcup #
Hey #BRA, when I said "Start digging" I meant THE OTHER WAY. #worldcup #
Robben #NED has found a sympathetic audience in this ref. He should see red if there's any #worldcup justice. #
Still stunned by that #BRA result. Only themselves to blame. If we end up w/ unlikely #NED #PAR #worldcup final I may shoot myself. #
I'm calling a #URU #ARG #worldcup final right now. So you can be sure it won't happen. #
Want follow #worldcup via hot actress? @ElizabethBanks is your venue.#FF RT @ElizabethBanks: Oh dear, Brazil. Oh dear. #BRA #worldcup #
#URU attacking & coming close few times. #GHA not really in this #worldcup QF right now. So they'll probably win by bad calls + fluke goals. #
And #GHA should've scored right there. Twice. #worldcup #
Ouch #URU player down after bad fall. Neck injury? #worldcup ? #
#URU player comes back on minutes after going comatose. #worldcup #
If Boateng #GHA had scored w/that bicycle kick, I would've heard #vuvuzelas from S. Af here in Oregon. And #gha score 1-0! #worldcup #
Last kick of the half! #GHA 1-0 #URU. #URU not same since captain went off with knee injury. #worldcup #
Forlan breaks the #URU funk 1-1. #worldcup great free kick #
#URU ratcheting up the diving as they get back in this #worldcup QF #
Are they ghana do it? #GHA gets last min penalty. #worldcup. #
CHOKE! #GHA #worldcup #
And with that missed penalty, #GHA now faces a high pressure penalty shoot-out. Psych! #worldcup. #
Either #GHA or #URU can beat #NED in semi. That semi lineup is a bit underwhelming. One of #GHA #URU & #NED will be in #worldcup final. Gad. #
Deja vu! Can Gyan score this time? #GHA #worldcup Yes. Too late, dude. #
#GHA captain misses his pen. #worldcup Weak shot, dribbles toward keeper. #
#URU kidding me? Skies it. Pens even. #worldcup #
Not quite. #GHA fails again. #URU win it with next kick. #worldcup #
And it's cheeky! #URU through, Africa out of its own #worldcup. #
Thanks for the party, Africa. Now stick that #vuvuzela somewhere else for 4 years. #worldcup #
Turns out that #URU handball on the line + red card + penalty in last second of extra time was a great idea! #worldcup #
My kids love the Milwaukie First Friday treasure hunt. Too bad the treasure maps are always wrong and some destinations are closed. #fail #
Thrilled my @comcast dvr recognizes #worldcup as a series. But does it really have to record repeats of matches on channels I don't get? #
Soon we will have generation of senior citizens who listened to AC/DC. With that, the concept of respecting one's elders will be moot. No? #
Does anyone else ever see the emoticon "<3" and instead of a sideways heart, first think someone's trying to flash virtual balls at you? #
Lose #GER lose! Yes, I'm expecting disappointment. And there it is. #ger 1-0 #Arg inside 3 mins. Holy crap. #worldcup #
Wake up #ARG don't you know that #Ger never sleeps? #worldcup #
No comment. #worldcup #
RT @dorrk: No comment. #worldcup #
Messi, now is the time for that hattrick, you miserable impotent dwarf. #ger 3-0 #Arg #worldcup #
It's going to take a freaking HUGE amount of coke for Maradona to deal with this #ARG performance. We're talking #Scarface huge. #worldcup #
This #worldcup has taken the shortlist of the world's best players and kicked them all square in the vaginas. #
Weird: whenever I watch #par play I become drowsy. #ESP have been a #worldcup bore, too. Conspiring to make me support #Ger in semis? Gasp! #
Can only support #Ger if Klose is out. Last remnant of despised generation. If #par make it to #worldcup semi, however, it will be tempting. #
Listen #ESP – the lesson here is "stop playing like douches." You've escaped a penalty, now try to win. The #worldcup is unforgiving. #
Now #ESP get a penalty: 1-0 #worldcup #
No! Penalty disallowed? #ESP retake & miss! 0-0 #worldcup #
After that exciting strange 2 mins. With 3 penalties & 1 goal, the score is still 0-0 and back on "snooze." #ESP #par #worldcup #
#ESP score after hitting post 50 times in 30 seconds. 1-0. Please save us from overtime with #par #worldcup #
The coolest part about your kids' birthdays is probably the way they get all hyper and cry non-stop for the few days leading up to the party #
#ESP tried really hard to lose that one but stubborn #par just wouldn't let them #worldcup #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-06-27

Dorrk.com — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000

Today's #worldcup review: #PAR easy over #SVK, #NZL holds impotent champs #ITA, and Kaka sent off as #BRA beats up #CIV. #
Tomorrow's #worldcup: #POR 7-0 #PRK (less likely margin now, but Ronaldo will rise), #CHI 0-0 #SUI, #ESP 3-2 #HON #
@Safeway Milwaukie Oregon King Road Safeway. Check bakery for fresh bread 4:15, 4:45 or 5:15pm – never warm. This Sunday AM: stale donuts! in reply to Safeway #
My other #worldcup predictions may be shite, but I TOTALLY CALLED that 7-0 #POR win. #
Last round of group stage #worldcup matches starts Tuesday. By end of week half of all teams will be going home. Shit just got real. #
1st up #worldcup Gr. A. #URU and #MEX need only lifeless draw to both reach knockout stage. #FRA needs win + fluke to stay alive. #RSA done. #
My original #worldcup Gr. A final match predictions: #MEX 1-1 #URU (now 0-0) #FRA 2-0 #RSA, but #RSA may have more pride & #FRA in shambles. #
Do not recommend anyone watch #worldcup #MEX v. #URU. Neither has incentive to win or lose, just play safe. Fluke win possible, unlikely. #
Originally picked #worldcup Group A finish #FRA (1) #MEX (2) #URU (3) #RSA (4). now, most likely: #URU (1), #MEX (2), #FRA (3), #RSA (4) #
#worldcup Gr. B final Tuesday: #ARG B-team should beat #GRE, 2nd place determined by #KOR vs. #NGA. #NGA win would have 3 teams tied for 2nd #
If 3-way tie for 2nd in #worldcup Group B, #NGA most likely 2nd place, as both #KOR and #GRE would have lost, but if all end 1-0, tie it is. #
Original predictions for #worldcup group B: #ARG 4-0 #GRE (maybe 2-0 #ARG don't need win) & #KOR 1-0 #NGA Finish: #ARG (1) #KOR (2). #
Most tense match in Tuesday's #Worldcup should be #KOR vs. #NGA . #GRE still has hope but must attack #ARG, will open up defense for Kun! #
Will watch #FRA v #RSA in #worldcup hoping #FRA players get in fights w/ teammates Perhaps Zidane will come down and headbutt Malouda. #
#Fra #worldcup just gets better. #rsa leads 1-0 and now red card for Gourcuff. He Really is the next Zidane! Still hour to go! #
#rsa 2 – 0 #Fra #worldcup #
#rsa 2 – 0 #Fra #worldcup Can @Twitter handle it? #
Wasn't it against #RSA 1st round of #worldcup 1998 that Zidane was red carded for stomping on player's chest? #Fra won that #worldcup, ha! #
Ooh, #URU just took 1-0 #worldcup lead vs #MEX suddenly that match comes alive. #
Ooh, #URU just took 1-0 #worldcup lead vs #MEX suddenly that match comes alive. And @Twitter takes a nap. #
ESPN says if #URU 1-0 #MEX score holds, #RSA needs to beat #FRA 4-0 to take 2nd place in #worldcup group A. Half way there! #
Just learned that if you give 1yo a chewy granola bar, it can be completely disassembled into individual grains in less than 3 minutes. #
Torn now over which #worldcup match 2nd half to watch. #MEX will be feeling pressure to score, and the #vuvuzelas will be less oppressive. #
Boo, #FRA score, suck the life out of #worldcup group A #
Boo, #FRA score, sucking the life out of #worldcup group A. Surprises far less likely now. #
#FRA scoring took the wind out of #RSA chances , but any day #FRA ends #worldcup losing, last place in group, deserves a hearty #vuvuzela #
Big goal for #NGA in #worldcup Group B. Now both #KOR and #GRE need to attack! #
#KOR tie it up 1-1, but will press for the win to clinch 2nd spot in #worldcup group B. #NGA physical dominance racking up yellow cards. #
#KOR take 2-1 lead. African teams not only not rising to occasion of 1st #worldcup on continent, but worst showing in over 20 years? #
Miss. Of. The. Year. #NGA Yakubu. Oh my goodness. #worldcup #
#NGA Yakubu doesn't miss a penalty kick: 2-2 Group B 2nd place back up for grabs, #GRE #worldcup #
Oh Shittu, that was almost a #NGA own-goal! #worldcup #
#ARG 1-0 #GRE #worldcup #
That #ARG lead makes things in #worldcup Group B much more comfortable for #KOR (as #NGA misses yet another point blank opportunity.) #
Many casual #worldcup viewers tune in to dull 1st round of group games and write it off. This last stage is when the magic really starts. #
Match stalls as one of #KOR players stricken with menstrual cramps. #worldcup #
Today's #worldcup saw #URU win Group A; #MEX take 2nd pl. #RSA go, er, stay home; #FRA completely humiliated. #URU and #MEX make finals. #
#worldcup Group B, #ARG win as expected & #KOR 2-2 #NGA draw enough to book #KOR 2nd spot in finals, making #NGA cry & meeting predictions #
#worldcup Gr. C predictions: originally #ENG 1-1 #SLN & #USA 1-2 #ALG but fuck that. #ENG will scrape by 2-1 and #USA will top group(!) 3-1. #
#worldcup Gr. D predictions: #GHA 2-3 #GER & #SRB 2-0 #AUS – Africa's best hope is #GHA but they miss 2 best players + #GER always survives. #
"a moral disaster for French football" Ha ha ha! http://bit.ly/blOYhW #worldcup #FRA #
#Eng playing well now, 1-0 up vs #SVN & controlling game. #worldcup #
#USA had another wrongly disallowed goal in 1st half; need a win now to reach finals if #Eng win #worldcup #
#USA #worldcup 1-0 #
All #worldcup predictions aside, I will be stoked if #GHA can get a good result today and knock #GER out. #USA won group: #miracleshappen #
@mrkorb That's my girl (although she usually says "Liverpoop.") in reply to mrkorb #
Wow, #GER has had a multiculti explosion. Last #worldcup they had 1 African & a couple of Poles. This year they look like Rainbow Coalition. #
I have long-standing aversion to #GER NT, but do occasionally like #GER players: Klinsmann, Schweinsteiger in 2002, this #worldcup : Oezil. #
Gyan for #GHA really really really wants to score from 40 yds out in this #worldcup but maybe there are better options. #
#GHA look like they can beat this #GER #worldcup team, but need discipline in making and taking chances. That is #GER trademark. #
Oezil is elegant and creative for #GER but he isn't much of a finisher in this #worldcup #
Likely: #GHA will play hearts out, dominate match, come close several times, but ultimately lose to efficient #GER counterattack #worldcup #
#GER coach Jurgen Loew and Kyle Maclachlan #worldcup #lookalikes #
Just forget what I said about Oezil's finishing for #GER #worldcup #
#GHA Ayew Ghana score a goal? Apparently not. #worldcup #puns #
#SRB need a coach who can teach them about the goal scoring side of soccer. #worldcup #
Ugh, #SRB collapsing 0-2 vs #Aus #worldcup #Srb is such an inconsistent, goal-averse team. Done picking them as dark horses. #
Thurs. #worldcup predictions: #SVK 0-0 #ITA, #PAR 4-0 #NZL, #DEN 2-1 #JAP, #CMR 2-3 #NED : #PAR & #ITA top grp F, #NED & #DEN take grp E #
Burning questions for Thurs. #worldcup: Can #ITA score? Will someone finally cream #NZL? Will #NED put out more effort in meaningless match? #
With #ITA strikers Rossi & Cassano left home, will we see Quagliarella given a chance to save the #worldcup champs from elimination? #
#ITA certainly need Pirlo if he's remotely fit enough. The guys out there now are completely devoid of inspiration. #worldcup #
Who are potential stars #ITA didn't bring to #worldcup? Rossi, Cassano? Giovinco? Who is future of #ITA football? Aquilani? Bleak isn't it? #
Quagliarella is on for #ITA this is a literal long shot (YouTube for his highlights – 10 or so amazing long range goals) #worldcup #
Here comes Pirlo for #ITA He peaked as MVP candidate in 2006 #worldcup victory. In old injury afford age can he still conjure some magic? #
Here comes Pirlo for #ITA He peaked as MVP candidate in 2006 #worldcup victory. In old injury addled age can he still conjure some magic? #
#ITA coach Lippi was hero after 2006 #worldcup . He should have retired then. #
Quagliarella the only positive attacker for #ITA right now. #worldcup #
#ITA now losing 0-2 vs #SVK #worldcup champs going home today? #
#ITA 1-2 now w 2nd goal ruled offside. Quagliarella has created more chances in few minutes than rest of team in 2.5 #worldcup matches. #
Really desparate good stuff from #ITA in dying #worldcup minutes but #SVK score: 3-1! All over now for sure. #
Wow who thought we'd see 4 goals in any of these #worldcup group f matches? #
Brilliant Quagliarella goal #ITA 2-3 with 2 mins left #worldcup #
#ITA out. 2-3 final. #worldcup #
Amazing. #NZL tipped by many incl. me to be one of worst #worldcup teams ever goes home undefeated in 3 matches. Wonderful organization. #
Goalzilla attacks! #jap 1-0 on brilliant long range rocket free kick #worldcup #
Japaneasy. 2-0. #JAP score 1st two goals from free kicks this #worldcup Looking bleak for #DEN #
#DEN are sucking but #JAP look fantastic right now #worldcup #
#DEN just fielded a player born in the 1990s #worldcup #feelingold #
Fri's #worldcup results as foretold a week ago: #POR 2-2 #BRA / #PRK 1-2 #CIV / #CHI 1-2 #ESP / #SUI 1-2 #HON (One revision: #SUI 2-0 #HON) #
What do tomorrow's #worldcup games mean? #BRA and #POR 1&2 from Grp. G. I can't be arsed to figure out Grp. H if 3 teams end up on 6 points. #
Apparently if #SUI win by 2 goals they qualify. #SUI and #CHI through to finals based on my #worldcup predictions? Or #SUI & #ESP? #
See here for what happens in #worldcup Group H: http://bit.ly/btkmLh My predictions' result: #ESP 1st & #SUI 2nd. Rather see #CHI than #SUI. #
#CHI get a red card as they go down 2-0. #ESP Torres with silly dive that fools ref #worldcup #
Can't feel too sympathetic for #CHI on dubious red. Despite talent they often prefer to foul & cheat, and this is karma #worldcup #
One my fave moments of #CHI #worldcup cheating: http://www.spiritus-temporis.com/roberto-rojas/1989-world-cup-qualifying-incident.html #
I recall reading about S. Amer. #worldcup team using fake blood to augment diving in 1970s but can't find anything on it. #
#CHI strike back 1-2. Three great goals in this #worldcup match. #
More #CHI #worldcup fun: "most stupid appalling disgusting disgraceful
exhibition in the history of the game" http://bit.ly/b4F6Jl #
Watching #Avatar for 1st time. If I understand this correctly, I think I just watched a giant smurf rape a dragon. #
And the dragon appears to have liked it. #Avatar what a noble race, the Navi'i. #
The way the Navi'i in #Avatar treat animals is totally regressive and demeaning. A lot like the way James Cameron treats his characters. #
#worldcup 1st round wrapup: thanks to #BRA & #POR for using meaningless match to display vigorous end-to-end attacking advert for football! #
My 1st round #worldcup predictions correctly picked 3 2nd rd matchups:#ENG v #GER (reversed grp pos), #ARG v #MEX, and #NED v #SVK. #
My best #worldcup guesses were #ITA out in 1st rd, w #PAR 1st and #SVK 2nd and the score of #POR 7-0 #PRK #
For #worldcup knockout rnd most of my pre-tourney predictions out the window, but I'll stick with the 3 valid 1s out of loyalty to ignorance #
Saturday's #worldcup: #URU 3-2 #KOR This one may be high-scoring, with #URU deadly strikers counterattacking fast #KOR team. #
Saturday's #worldcup: #USA 2-2 #GHA, #USA close to revenge for 2006 injustice, but #GHA ties it late & wins on pens. Hope I'm wrong. #
Hey, @culturepulp @FatboyRoberts @CortWebber What happened to your podcast feed? I might be too lazy to manually download your Friday shows. #
Great start to #URU vs #KOR two teams who like to attack quickly. 1-0 #URU in 9 mins #worldcup #
@FatboyRoberts yeah, my malfunction + couldn't find link on your site. Delete tweet 2 mins after posting & everyone still sees it. Awesome. in reply to FatboyRoberts #
#URU up 2-1 now, 10 mins to go. Is the rain responsible for all those empty seats? Never seen that at a #worldcup before. #
Are the #USA ever Ghana score first? Not today. #GHA 1-0. #worldcup #
Pen for #USA 1-1. #worldcup #
Woohoo our 1st overtime of 2010 #worldcup #USA 1-1 #GHA Turn the anti-soccer moaning up to 11. (My wife will gladly lead the way.) #
Why does Opera Mini for iPhone give me "remember passwords?" option and yet always make me login to every website for which I have password? #
#USA better try to win #worldcup match in the next 30 mins because I have feeling they will totally crumble in penalty shootout. #
Well. #GHA 2-1 #USA. (I did predict a 2-2 draw before penalties.) #worldcup #
My wife to #GHA : "How come you couldn't do that 5 minutes earlier, you jackasses?" #worldcup #waitingforgametoend #
Donovan looks tired. Usually 15 mins after game ends he's exfoliated and moved on to a deep tissue massage & tanning session #USA #worldcup #
ESPN made interesting choice airing this entire final 15 mins in slow motion. #worldcup #
New #worldcup rule proposal: any player hurt so bad they have to leave the field must remain off for 10 mins. #
#Avatar overuses the mournful ululation-laden score to the point of parody, and no director should feel comfortable using it in future. #
Na'vi ideal of harmony w/nature = mind-raping animals until they become handpuppets, devoid of their own free will? Barbarians. #Avatar #
Feeling pretty good about today's #worldcup predictions, #URU beat #KOR and #USA sadly did not, as expected, overcome #GHA in close matches #
Sunday's #worldcup features rare 2nd rd matchups I predicted before tourney started: #ENG vs #GER and #ARG vs #MEX. #ENG wins 3-2, #ARG 3-1. #
Getting bit annoyed w/self for continuing to predict #worldcup. What fun would #worldcup be if you could predict it? #
Then again, if I didn't try to predict #worldcup results (and fail at it), how would I know how really, pleasantly unpredictable it is? #
Ugh #Eng fall to pieces. Down 2-0 to #Ger #worldcup #
#Eng pull one back. Has #Ger ever thrown away 2 goal lead in #worldcup ? #
What? Lampard scored a 2nd but disallowed! #Eng #Ger #worldcup #
Lampard hits bar again for #Eng Never stop the dreaming! #worldcup #
Memo to all 2010 #worldcup players: Stop shooting from 40 yards. There are almost always better options. You're not even close. #
Rooney coming to life a little for #Eng More like it. #worldcup #
It's a kRoute. #Ger 3-1 #Eng #worldcup #
I hate #Ger FFS Heskey supposed to turn this around for #Eng ? Who'd expect Capello to oversee worst #Eng #worldcup defeat in decades? #
This abject #Eng display makes me wish Rooney would stomp on someone, just for a sign that anyone out there cares. #worldcup over for #Eng #
Refereeing mistakes again #ARG 1-0 #MEX #worldcup #
#MEX need to be careful. They don't tend to handle disappointment very gracefully. They can come back without lashing out. #worldcup #
#MEX frustrated, aggreived and down 2-0 now. Watch them start committing lots of nasty off-the-ball fouls. #worldcup #
Other gaffes notwithstanding we shouldn't be surprised when #ARG team involving Maradona scores goal with assist from a blind ref #worldcup #
Tevez 3-0, not bad for a Man Shitty player #ARG #worldcup #
BTW wouldn't get carried away about #Ger #worldcup win today. #eng never showed up. Real team should take #Ger apart just as easily. #
CHICARITO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #mex #WORLDCUP #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-06-20

Dorrk.com — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000

Which do I prefer: constant weekend-long throttling of pressure washer motor in neighbor's backyard, or #worldcup #vuvuzelas? Vuvuzelas. #
Which do I prefer: non-stop yelling + whining + chatter of three hyper children from 7am-8pm, or #worldcup #vuvuzelas? Vuvuzelas. #
Which do I prefer: Paul Simon's #Graceland, or #worldcup #vuvuzelas? Vuvuzelas. #
Fozzie Bear is African? @gpollowitz RT @lihle_z Anyone thinking of banning the #vuvuzela … Wakawaka, this is Africa, we will fight! #
@gpollowitz Too late, the soccer board I frequent has a year-old thread about just that. Reg. req'd: http://bit.ly/axhWIS in reply to gpollowitz #
@gpollowitz Too late, the soccer board I frequent has a 51-page year-old thread about just that. Reg. req'd: http://bit.ly/axhWIS #
After Sunday's #worldcup prediction blow-out (1 for 3), my useless picks for Monday: #NED 1 – 1 #DEN || #JAP 0 – 2 #CMR || #ITA 0 – 0 #PAR #
I also predict that, of my #worldcup predictions for Monday, I will be wrong on at least two of them. #
@LendogPDX Apparently you don't recall when #ITA met #PAR in 1998 #worldcup ? 120 mins of the worst goalless draw you can imagine. I dread. in reply to LendogPDX #
Hey, #USA, everyone on #ITA sings their national anthem b4 #worldcup match. @bocanegracarlos @OguchiOnyewu5 @JozyAltidore17 @Landon_Donovan #
Who is this team in blue? Why are they attacking the goal? What happened to #ITA? Is this a science fiction movie or the #worldcup ? #
Out of character, #ITA playing fast attacking football, setting great example as #worldcup champs. Hope it works & inspires others. #
Of course it would help if #ITA had a world class goal scorer on the field. Hope Rossi gets a chance this #worldcup #
Brief signal blackout reinforces my dread about depending on @comcast dvr as primary #worldcup source this year. #
Prefer @comcast box as backup for homebrew htpc w/ @SageTV , but #comcrap blocks pc tuners from picking up most digital channels. Lame. #
Bad day for #ITA @worldcup? Attacking style backfires, losing to #par , gk Buffon out at HT injured (?), no one to score goals… #
Ack! Giuseppe Rossi didn't make final #ITA #worldcup squad? Is that how they plan to defend: No goals? You should've played for #USA Joe! #
TBF #ITA won 2006 #worldcup without goals from forwards but defenders. Squad this year really weak in comparison. MF DeRossi just tied it. #
Look out #ITA – one of most disappointing overhyped talents of last decade coming on for #PAR but he's better than your #worldcup strikers #
Gilardino coming off for #ITA … Who could tell he was out there for 72 min? I miss #ITA #worldcup stars like Baggio & Vieri. #
Pepe from #ITA looks like bald Eric Bana. #worldcup #
#ITA v #PAR look like two teams without forwards trying new ways not to score on each other. #worldcup classic. #
#worldcup predictions awry! Called #ITA – #PAR draw (wrong score), but #JAP over #CMR surprise, & #HOL tried to tie #DEN but #DEN owngoaled. #
Tomorrow's #worldcup predictions: #SLO 3 – 0 #NZE, #IVO 1 – 3 #POR (assuming Drogba doesn't play & #POR doesn't implode), #BRA 6 – 1 #NKO #
Tomorrow in #worldcup #PRK and #NZE begin competition for worst team ever to make the finals. WTF is the hash tag for New Zealand? #
I should say that #PRK is nowhere near as bad as #NZL, but may get hammered worse because of the teams in their #worldcup group. #
On today's #worldcup evidence, #ITA and #PAR may both struggle to penetrate expectedly viscous #NZL defense, while #PKR faces #POR and #BRA. #
Amazing! How did they get the shark to cooperate? @reckless I have … picture of a shark eating the new Xbox. http://twitpic.com/1wvcv2 #
Back from my own soccer game with 5th goal in 5 games, a 5-0 record, huge turf burn on my shin and sprained finger. #worldcup #shmorldshmup #
Casual #worldcup viewers may want to tune in to #POR v #CIV there could be a fight any moment. Both dirty whiny divers galore. #
The #worldcup ref for #POR v #CIV is lousy so far, creating good atmosphere for mischief. You think Ronaldo is a douche? Wait for Drogba. #
In 2006 #worldcup #POR involved in dirtiest match in decades vs. #NED. It was a disgrace on both sides, but oh so fun to watch. #
Well, after a punchy start all the energy got strangely sucked out of #POR v #CIV #worldcup #
Well, after a punchy start all the energy got strangely sucked out of #POR v #CIV #worldcup it appears to have put Twitter to sleep. #
Credit to #NZL for surviving vs #SVK #NZL may lack talent but they were better organized and cohesive. #SVK played with no unity or purpose #
#BRA #POR #CIV considered "group of death" but #ITA #PAR #NZL #SVK is the #worldcup group most likely to induce coma. "Group of the undead?" #
I think they may be related to Wenlock and Mandeville http://bit.ly/9T7HCt @culturepulp http://bit.ly/a6eoXH (via @Gawker ) #
#BRA turning on style early vs #PRK in #worldcup Should work better for them than it did for #ITA yesterday. Robinho in good mood = fun. #
#PRK has some precocious players. #BRA should well stomp them, but I still fancy the Koreans to nick a goal. #worldcup #
#BRA doing fine now but like #ITA playing without a deadly striker at focus of #worldcup attack. Fabiano barely noticeable unlike midfield. #
Norks score! #BRA 2 – 1 #PRK #worldcup And a beauty! #
After last 2 days, do my #worldcup predictions really matter? No wins for #POR & #SVK, #BRA scrapes by. Why bother with tomorrow's? #
Tomorrow is another #worldcup day! I brazenly call for high-scoring draw #HON 3 – 3 #CHI followed by #ESP 2 – 0 #SUI, and #RSA 1 – 1 #URU. #
1st round of #worldcup matches & my predictive powers limp. No draw for #CHI – #HON and #SUI upsets #ESP, who choked earlier than expected. #
Today's #worldcup 1st big shocker, choketastic faves #ESP lose 0 – 1 vs #SUI and hosts #RSA deservedly went down to good #URU side 0-2. #
My first day 0 for 3 in #worldcup predictions. New prediction: Tomorrow can't go any worse! #FRA 2-2 #MEX, #GRE 1-1 #NGA, #ARG 2-0 #KOR #
Note on #worldcup predictions: I made all the day before the tournament. I would revise some, but funnier to be chronically out of touch. #
For example I now expect #MEX to lose and #NGA to win tomorrow, but I believe in the purity of wrongness, my #worldcup of shame. #
Today's #worldcup – predictions irrelevant. Well played by #ARG, #GRE and #MEX. Feel bad for Evra. #FRA worse than my predictions so far. #
2nd round of #worldcup group stage games always better than 1st round. But 3rd round #MEX vs. #URU now likely most boring match yet. #
Tomorrow's unlikely #worldcup predictions: #GER 1-1 #SRB, #SLV 1-2 #USA, #ENG 3-0 #ALG. Actually, will stand by last 2. #GER likely win. #
Did Charles M. Schultz design the #SLV #worldcup shirts? #
No sympathy for #Ger they got lucky red card vs #aus Ref vs. #Srb may have saved us from douche Klose becoming alltime #worldcup lead scorer #
Isn't #SLV where they have that hostel that lets rich Euros torture & kill US students? Get revenge #USA via #worldcup! (Or was that #SVK ?) #
Ack. Keep using #SLV for Slovenia. Correct #worldcup hash is #SVN Apologies for my xenophobic hashing – they all look alike to me. #
Wife thinks that my getting up early to watch #worldcup means I also take care of/feed kids while she sleeps in #womendontunderstandsports #
Bad call on #USA "handball" but Findley deserves yellow for not shooting w multiple chances. #SVN shoots, therefore they score. #worldcup #
Shades of #USA implosion vs #gha in 2006 #worldcup Bad ref + plus careless mistakes = early exit. #USA can beat #SVN but need to shoot more. #
#USA ! #worldcup #
Goal #USA a tie could be enough #worldcup #
#USA is chronic #worldcup heartbreaker, so optimism is guarded. #
#USA will never get a break from #worldcup refs, ever. #
#Eng bravely facing fear of #worldcup failure by letting fear of failure cripple them, resulting in failure which can then be faced head-on. #
#Eng do poor job getting Rooney involved, but when has had chances today, he's been horrible, dejected, no effort. Not rising to #worldcup #
#Eng last sub Crouch. Seems a player like Joe Cole more likely to introduce something new to #worldcup chances. #
WTF Rooney pulling out of challenges for #Eng ? He's afraid of injury or cards. His typical determination absolutely missing from #worldcup #
Rooney not running w ball either. Conservatively dishing off instead. Pathetic #Eng #worldcup #
Benadryl is my master. Forgive me if I type like thflkagfffnldvbbmn #
Better not talk about how today's #worldcup predictions went. IRL #GER fell, #USA was held to a draw by #REF, and #ENG forgot to play #ALG #
Here's the bizarro skinny for Saturday's #worldcup: #GHA 2-2 #AUS (more like 4-0), #NED 3-1 #JAP (1-1 prolly), #CAM 2-1 #DEN (more like 0-0) #
RT @TelegraphNews Wayne Rooney's unreliable England team-mates bring out the worst in striker http://bit.ly/azbPNs #
RT "England team visited orphanage in Cape Town today. 'It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope' said Jamal aged 6." #
Anelka kicked out of #FRA #worldcup squad for insulting moronic coach http://bit.ly/b2t7ZE #
Unpredictable #worldcup not so off today: Called #AUS – #GHA draw, not score; #NED win (but no style); but #CAM – #DEN reversed. Heating up! #
Tomorrow's #worldcup results, as foretold by a fool: #SVK 0-0 #PAR, #ITA 1-0 #NZL, #BRA 2-0 #CIV. Assumes Italy can score. No wagers. #
This sounds like a healthy #FRA #worldcup team dynamic: "Evra: We must find traitor!" http://bit.ly/97RXwH via @addthis #
Why so long for the RSS feed to update? Still no new file posted… @engadget Engadget Podcast, live at 5:45PM! 2:55 PM Jun 17th #
Oh, #ITA #
#ITA trying very hard to make #Fra #eng #ESP look like #worldcup success stories #
I loathe former #ITA players Del Piero, Totti, Inzaghi but could #ITA use them now. Where is creativity in #worldcup squad? Who is star? #
#ITA should be careful trying to get #NZL player sent off. It will be more embarassing for champs to lose #worldcup match vs 10-man #NZL #
#ITA shouldn't look to proud of drawing level with #NZL in #worldcup Save the celebrations, paisani. #
Fun to mock #ITA #ENG #ESP #FRA etc. But less favored teams at #worldcup have been almost perfectly organized & disciplined. No margins. #
I almost scored a goal like that #BRA #worldcup Fabiano's in my game last Monday – flipped it over 3 defenders – but keeper saved the shot. #
Looks like ref suspected handball on that #BRA #worldcup goal, but gave it anyway? And then joked about it with scorer? Not good. #
I delight any time #CIV Drogba loses. Go #BRA ! #
Boo, Drogba, but too late for #CIV #worldcup ? #
Coincidence that #CIV is involved in two chippiest matches of this #worldcup ? With captain like diving dirty whining Drogba? Nah. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-06-13

Dorrk.com — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 06:02:00 +0000

Just taught my daughter to play chess. Turns out a 6yo first-timer is just about the perfect opponent for me. I am the winner! #isuckatchess #
Following up chess lesson with bedtime story from this book. http://tweetphoto.com/26020758 #
Prediction time! Always pick Argentina to win it, always wrong. Why deviate? Maybe this year: Argies 2 – 1 Portugal in the final. #WorldCup #
Tomorrow's scores: S. Africa 1 – 2 Mexico || Uruguay 1 – 1 France || Argentina 4 – 0 Nigeria #WorldCup #
My #WorldCup prediction shortcomings: not enough 0-0 scores, always expect underdogs to fail before semis, too sentimental about England #
My #WorldCup surprises: Paraguay and Serbia in the QFs. WTF Paraguay? They have an easy-ish path & Italy chokes on goal diff in Group 5. #
More #WorldCup funtasy: Hosts S.Africa won't win a game, lucky for a point! New Zealand will do better than N.Korea only because of group! #
Another #WorldCup blind spot in my predictions: Totally discounting Africa Effect. Expect all African teams to choke. Too many key injuries. #
Making revision to #WorldCup predictions! Scratch Paraguay from QFs. Give Cameroon benefit of doubt as only African team to survive groups. #
My new #WorldCup prediction is that Cameroon will beat not tie Denmark in Group for 2nd spot and then beat Paraguay in 2nd round to make QFs #
It's possible Nigeria could make 2nd stage over S. Korea, but am still expecting major African disappointment, Cameroon excepted. #WorldCup #
Surprise teams to reach #WorldCup 2nd stage: Slovakia (Italy don't make it), Honduras over Chile, U.S. will lose to Algeria but squeak in. #
The Rapes of Wrath #missingletterfilms #
Little Bi Man #missingletterfilms #
Valley of He Dolls #missingletterfilms #
The Day Reagan Was Hot #missingletterfilms #
Shaun of the D.E.A. #missingletterfilms #
I messed up posting #WorldCup predictions 2 days ago. For today: S.Korea 1 – 0 Greece | Argies 4 – 0 Nigeria | England 1 – 1 U.S.A. #
Yesterday's #WorldCup, got France v Uruguay result right – a draw – but score wrong. Thought Mexico would nick SAfrica by a goal, but tied. #
So far today, got #WorldCup results right but scores wrong. Greece worse than expected, Argies played for draw despite winning. #
Nigeria was awful today #WorldCup, how Arg didn't score more is baffling. They have the talent but look like they expect to coast through. #
For today's big #WorldCup match I have divided loyalties. My favorite players are English, but I want U.S. to win. Expect however 1-1 draw. #
Rationalize today's #WorldCup this way: England can lose and still do well later. USA has limited opps for glory. Win today would be cool. #
This #WorldCup I am trying to avoid any ESPN/ABC pregame, half-time, postgame worthless crapola. Much better analysis on web, #fbtz #
#WorldCup teams like Arg playing safe to protect slim leads may get shock when groups decided by goal difference. #
If a #WorldCup team like Nigeria today invites massacre you should take them up on it and run up the score. You may need extra goals later. #
Before I forget, my #WorldCup predicts for tomorrow: #ALG 0 -1 #SLO || #GER 0 – 1 #AUS (Upset!) || #SRB 2 – 0 #GHA (Ghana miss Essien) #
Half of the #USA team before their #WorldCup match didn't even try to sing the anthem. Protest? Nerves? Or just bad singers? #
I'd love to see Rooney top scorer of this #worldcup but #Eng midfield does not know how to link up with him. He's practically shut out. #
#ENG should make #Rooney the focal point of their #worldcup attack. He didn't touch the ball for 1st 17 minutes in today's game. #
#USA got a gift today, but they played well. you have to appreciate how much they have improved technically since 1994-1998. #Worldcup #
@RichLowry Compared to last summer's Confed Cup, ESPNABC has done great job equalizing down the #worldcup #vuvuzelas to a mere annoyance in reply to RichLowry #
#USA should beat both #SLV & #ALG in next games (though I expect they blow it vs. #ALG). Today's result should get them to 2nd rd #worldcup #
Eh today's #worldcup predictions not going well. Got the #SLE 1-0 right, but #Srb threw theirs away & #aus don't look like upsetting anyone #
#Ger always start strong (#deutschbags) & Oezil gives them something extra even if he's fluffing his shots. Wish he played for Turkey. #
I hate Klose #ger. Hope he doesn't break #worldcup scoring record. Owes it to pathetic 2002 Saudi team who he scored 5 against. #
#aus should've played this #worldcup defensively from start. Unless #Ger gets cocky they should massacre #aus on counter attack 2nd half. #
#aus do play nicely & Cahill is great goal scorer, but didn't expect them to be so disorganized defensively #worldcup not how to match #Ger #
Ugh Cahill #aus gets straight red! He's out of cup. #aus is doomed doomed doomed. #
Oddly #aus look more like scoring now w/best player sent off, but also look letting in more #ger goals as they push forward #worldcup #
Still think this crazy #worldcup group where anything can happen, but #srb need dramatic improvement & #gha implosion to make 2nd round. #
Watched #inglouriousbasterds the other night. Could do with similar revisionist destruction of #ger football team about now #worldcup #
Would it be too tasteless to refer to this #Ger #worldcup massacre as a holoc#aus ? #
Dislike multiethnic #ger team. Easier to hate robotically efficient master race. Immigrant flair makes #ger sadly attractive. #worldcup #
Saving grace of this big #Ger win is now #deutschbags will be hailed as faves making their eventual early #worldcup exit all the more sweet. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-06-06

Dorrk.com — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 01:02:00 +0000

Few months ago I twee-viewed 2009 movie #Ninja http://amzn.to/b1VdwB. Tonight: 2009 genre doppleganger #NinjaAssassin http://amzn.to/cyErO9 #
Suspect from DVD menu #NinjaAssassin won't have same fun campy retro vibe but rather try to sate hardcore ninja who lack sense of irony. #
OK #NinjaAssassin opens with guy born w heart in wrong side of chest. Maybe this will be fun after all. #
CGI gore no replacement for the real fake thing. Ninja in #NinjaAssassin too efficient, like Robocop or Death in #FinalDestination series. #
Note to self: strike "School for Ninjas" off list of potential charter schools for my kids. #NinjaAssassin #
Wow, 2 consecutive robo-replies. Feeling isolated on Twitter? Post a few notes-to-self about Robocop and you'll feel like nerd prom king. #
Hm, on 2nd thought maybe I won't publish that long blog post exposing the ancient global ninja conspiracy… #NinjaAssassin #
CGI makes gore not only too fake but also too easy. Old-school sfx makeup gore had a hands-on craft to it that made it fun #NinjaAssassin #
In #NinjaAssassin the gore is too abundant, too fake and boring. Otherwise, ninja conspiracy plot takes self too seriously but OK so far. #
I'm one of those old geezers who prefers my ninjas organic free-range Sho Kosugi style, not hyperkinetic blurry shadows in #NinjaAssassin #
Bad ninjas in #NinjaAssassin move and whisper like smoke monster in lost, but die too easily like heavy sacks of overripe tomatoes. #
Really dislike how throwing stars in #NinjaAssassin seem to be propelled in volume with machine gun-like force and velocity. #
Pretty sure I just saw hero in #NinjaAssassin get sliced in half at waist, keep fighting, and now getting away w/o sense of imminent death. #
Hey bad ninjas in #NinjaAssassin: whispering creepy things as you encroach on target MAKES YOU SHITTY NINJAS! #
Did ninja boss who tortured little kid for making floor creak really teach rest of #NinjaAssassin class to whisper for effect before attack? #
So Europol guy can shoot ninja sword in mid-swing but can't hit ninja running away in straight line? C'mon, #NinjaAssassin . #
None of weapons in #NinjaAssassin look like cool toys you could play with as kid. This movie kind of makes ninjas suck. Plot is anti-ninja. #
Soulless action nerds may prefer #NinjaAssassin but for purposes of juvenile 80s ninja movie nostalgia goofy #Ninja hit the right notes. #
For christ's sake, teleportation b.s. in #NinjaAssassin is worst new ninja tech since one of "American Ninja" movies added lasers to mix. #
Confused: was secret ninja school in #NinjaAssassin actually nestled in Alps? Lesson: ninjas don't need to be supernatural to be supercool. #
Yes I realize that Sho Kosugi was in #NinjaAssassin but #Ninja more accurately captured the spirit of what made Kosugi cool in the 1980s. #
This is why I love the IMDb message boards: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1186367/board/thread/153503906 #NinjaAssassin #
A fan! RT @Keith5Morris: @dorrk, Your a dumb ass, ninja assassin was an incredible action movie. You sound like a huge fag criticizing it. #
Watching #Peacock http://amzn.to/cV6fPr which stars the always creepy Cillian Murphy in 1950s-ish housewife drag. #
#Peacock has great cast for movie I've never heard of: Ellen Page, Susan Sarandon, Keith Carradine, Bill Pullman. #
Maybe why #Peacock is obscure: has one of worst most confusing low budget SFX seqs ever. Was that supposed to be a train derailing? #
Atrocious staging. Setting up pretty intriguing plot however as train wreck in #Peacock brings unwanted attention to small town weirdo. #
#Peacock should have played in theaters with @CrispinGlover short "The Orkly Kid" as intro http://imdb.to/9UCPPL #
Bad effect shot aside #Peacock is otherwise fascinating so far, but if townspeople don't start catching on soon it will strain credulity. #
#Peacock just got a helluva lot weirder. Not so hard to imagine why it didn't get wide release. #
Been bugging me all through #Peacock but finally realized: Cillian Murphy in drag looks like Emily Blunt: http://imdb.to/bw89s0 #
Liked #Peacock If you accept Shakespearean conceit that no one sees through disguise, it's a compelling weird drama/thriller w/great acting. #
#Peacock marketing is little misleading. This is not horror or intense thriller. Pretty low key with quiet ending that doesn't try too hard. #
The Milwaukie @Safeway bakery never has hot french bread at the same time two days in a row. Why does Safeway hate its customers? #
Have @redbox coupon but got stuck behind old man. It's like being locked out of Blockbuster while codger slowly checks every title in store. #
Watching #YesMenFixtheWorld http://amzn.to/c1CPKh The Yes Men are not my political ilk, but they are brilliant & hilarious prankster. #
I saw a diff Yes Men doc a few years ago. Fittingly for anticapitalists the DVD is $4 at amazon http://amzn.to/bfWeIn #YesMenFixtheWorld #
The Yes Men caused Dow Chemical stock to lose $2 billion in 23 minutes after BBC TV prank. Amazingly skilled imposters #YesMenFixtheWorld #
Someone call Will Graham: the Tooth Fairy is on it's way to our house tonight! #manhunter http://tweetphoto.com/25467626 #
Watching #PreciousBotNPbS http://amzn.to/btmPZi They didn't give a crap about continuity errors? Did Precious eat the script supervisor? #
She's only been onscreen a few minutes so far but I want to kick Mariah Carey in the face #PreciousBotNPbS #
This is a moving story but the direction is irritating. Every time it deviates from objective POV it derails into crap. #PreciousBotNPbS #
#PreciousBotNPbS lost me pushing big emotional scene way too hard. Now I'm numb to all of it. This isn't even "afterschool special" quality. #
God I hate director Lee Daniels. Ruins every good scene. Hope his next movie is the bomb he deserves. http://imdb.to/9JifCR #PreciousBotNPbS #
Daniels doesn't trust his story or his actors. 60% great, but 40% was Daniels ruining his – and his actors' – good work. #PreciousBotNPbS #
5 days until World Cup starts. Not sure how to indulge Twitter & avoid spoilers nearly every day for 5 weeks. Can't watch all games live. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-05-30

Dorrk.com — Mon, 31 May 2010 01:02:00 +0000

Breaking rock&roll news: my 6yo daughter's rock band has changed name from "Johnny Girl & the Firebombs" to "WolfStar." Summer tour TBA. #
@mattklewis After the Lady Gaga and Ke$ha live performances this season why bother with the family-friendly pretense on #IDOL? in reply to mattklewis #
#SATC2 "If this is what modern womanhood means, then just fucking veil me and sew up all my holes." http://strn.gr/4132715 RT @culturepulp #
Dismayed @ifcdotcom stretching movies out of original aspect ratio on IFC HD. Also seen AMC HD distort same. Why? What purpose? It sucks. #
@ifcdotcom was a pioneer in showing movies in OAR on standard def cable, but not in HD? Doesn't it cost more to distort than to show as is? #
Did Pat Nixon just call Black Dynamite a "moon cricket?" Yep. #BlackDynamite is good stuff w/surprisingly witty script http://amzn.to/arg8Bl #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-05-23

Dorrk.com — Mon, 24 May 2010 01:02:00 +0000

#24 has sucked so hard this season I've barely paid attention the last few weeks, but Bauer in "Heat"-like assault gear was pretty awesome. #
Did #24 really just have Bauer massacre hotel room full of Russian heavies AND NOT SHOW IT? Or is this just misdirection? Either way, lame. #
Watching #WheretheWildThingsAre http://amzn.to/9TXKE7 Better title: Where the Bipolar Things Mope Around. #
#wherethewildthingsare is like a very special episode of Barney directed by John Cassavettes. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-05-16

Dorrk.com — Mon, 17 May 2010 01:02:00 +0000

@bloggingheads FYI the mp3 of the new TWIB doesn't work, either via podcast or direct download. Sabotaged by absent, covetous @mattklewis ? #
Looking for a good place in Milwaukie/SE PDX to work by WiFi for a few hours. Good lunch + coffee preferred, but not essential. #
Working from MoBetta Deli this afternoon while roofers wreak tile above home office. 2pm and very peaceful, just me, phone & laptop. #
Because the Mo Betta makes it Mo Betta http://bit.ly/cWXdra #
WTF with Lady Gaga on #americanidol last week? Isn't that supposed to be a family-friendly show? Her costume made Cher look like a prude. #
DVD: #Tenure http://amzn.to/bec1wk low-key, amiable, wry, unambitious, just like star Luke Wilson. If you like Wilson, not a bad 90 mins. #
Also: 1975 French race drama Dupont Lajoie http://amzn.to/ddbn6E w/young Isabelle Huppert & anti-Arab violence. Decent look at Euro racism. #
Prepare for NBC to resemble shuttered, depressed ghost towns in 1980s Springsteen songs RT @ brianstelter "Law & Order" has been canceled. #
Speaking of #lawandorder, "Dick Wolf" is a great insult. I often mumble name derisively at end of bad "L&O: CI" eps as pejorative. #
Why does RC Cola exist? It's so flaccid, it's the only beverage known to suffer from erectile dysfunction syndrome. #
I love my iphone but $35 for a pair of replacement ear buds is fricking $%##%&*%#$@@#^$%*&&$!@$%@ recockulous. Seriously, Apple, fuck you. #
Wow, ABC News insider cat fight! Read the nasty comments, brutal: RT @marcambinder Catharthis on a comment thread. http://bit.ly/aTvRAw #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-05-09

Dorrk.com — Mon, 10 May 2010 01:02:00 +0000

@daveweigel Pelosi has a spotty record regarding claims of what she was & wasn't briefed on. If anything, this likely means she knew all. in reply to daveweigel #
1st rec soccer game 2night. Hail is pelting. If I don't tweet again I died. #imtoooldforthisshit #
It's like the perfect parody of the now cliched teen-star-gets-sexy video RT @gpollowitz Miley Cyrus all growed up. http://bit.ly/cwimvH #
DeNiro's accent moves 2000 miles in 3 mins! Rodriguez is a hack hiding behind irony. RT @andylevy 'Machete' trailer http://bit.ly/avZGKI #
I didn't die during Monday night's rec league soccer season opener. But now I'm so sore my entire upper torso aches when I blow my nose. #
Last night watched #MenWhoStareAtGoats' http://amzn.to/a283B0 Not as bad as I feared. Amusing, sort of engaging, just a dud ending. #
@culturepulp Maggie said this is the greatest picture she's ever seen http://twitpic.com/1lk09m/full but she also voiced concern for fatboy in reply to culturepulp #
@culturepulp Nope, not for Cort. I think she was fascinated by Fatboy's self-effacing nickname, which she thus proceeded to chant. in reply to culturepulp #
Watching #TheRundown http://amzn.to/aWiCcR action flick w/The Rock for 1st time. Hip tastemakers have hailed it as overlooked genre classic? #
Action in #TheRundown is fun, but banter so far is anemic & not even close to good in a campy or ironic way. Is its revival a meta-prank? #
#TheRundown also has so far 2 too many scenes where characters easily survive certain death just by pure luck and/or running & yelling. #
#TheRundown Will someone please shoot the Scottish guy before he speaks again? #
OK Ok Chris Walken is pretty great in #TheRundown but aside from a couple of fight scenes, why all the love? The "Go away monkey" scene? #
I didn't get #TheRundown. It's no Roadhouse. Feeling certain it's recent buzz amongst geek tastemakers is elaborate hoax. #
Watching #TheLovelyBones http://amzn.to/drCeVs which takes subject of child murder & beats you over head with it repeatedly & overbearingly. #
What's wrong w/Stanley Tucci's voice in #TheLovelyBones? Wouldn't be creepy w/normal voice? Did he use @redlettermedia as character study? #
Seriously the ghost stuff in #TheLovelyBones is like someone slipped Terry Gilliam rufees and forced him to direct a Hannah Montana video. #
No that is unfair to Terry Gilliam. #TheLovelyBones tries for neutered Gilliamesque surreality but fails fails fails fails and doesn't quit. #
Oh good, this movie about a murdered girl really needed a wacky comic montage w/Susan Sarandon as brassy grandma right now #TheLovelyBones #
#TheLovelyBones reminds me of anti-drinking movie about a dead surfer they showed us in 6th grade. I think it was called "The Day I Died." #
Forgot #TheLovelyBones was directed by Peter Jackson! Afterlife stuff does evoke "Heavenly Creatures." Subtlety not his strong suit. #
Bombast is fine in movie about giant monkey or dwarfs vs. glowing evil eye but maybe #TheLovelyBones called for more delicate touch. #
OMG the scene where Mark Wahlberg gets beaten in cornfield may have ruined cool Roxy Music song "Baby's on Fire" for me #TheLovelyBones #
FWIW #TheLovelyBones could have made a great movie, some very powerful material, but Jackson is serially abusing it with his unique style. #
Leave it to Peter Jackson to create a fantasy dreamscape full of smiling murdered little girls. Style over ick? #TheLovelyBones #
Christ, couldn't he have back his car up closer to the sink hole and spared us from this ridiculous 10-minute sequence? #TheLovelyBones #
Ah, what a sweet moral: if life give you lemons (aka murders you) make lemonade! #TheLovelyBones is "It's a Wonderful Life" ass-backward. #
Ooh! A comical just desserts for our mannered serial child killer! What a delight in a sea of delights… And blood… #TheLovelyBones #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-05-02

Dorrk.com — Mon, 03 May 2010 01:02:00 +0000

Best Hitler tantrum video yet? Hitler reacts to the Hitler parodies being removed from YouTube http://youtu.be/kBO5dh9qrIQ #
Guess who showed up in tonight's #24? Michael Madsen, a.k.a "The thinking man's Tom Sizemore." #
I think it may have damaged my psyche. RT @joshuatopolsky If you haven’t seen this amazing MGMT video… uh, do. http://tumblr.com/xfh95spgt #
Watched #BigFan http://amzn.to/9nhNQC w/ Patton Oswalt. Another good gritty comedy abt mental illness, like #observeandreport but less funny #
Oswalt is GREAT in #BigFan as NFL obsessive at personal odds with fave player. Lame DVD packaging misreps rough-edged dry indie dramedy. #
#BigFan has awesome music cue for Helen Reddy's "Delta Dawn." I like trend in dark comedies, but they sometimes seem afraid to be funny. #
#observeandreport was agressive both in serious dysfunction and laughs; #BigFan relies more on tone, less ambitious, but still compelling. #
BTW #BigFan was written & directed by Robert Seigel, former Onion editor + screenwriter of The Wrestler http://bit.ly/c0IKIz #
Wed. night is ribs night at IKEA! Disappointed they don't have Swedish code name like "RIBBA." http://twitpic.com/1j8bt8 #
Do I detect a hint of lingonberry in the BBQ sauce? #
Looks like RIBBA is already taken. How about MESSA? http://twitpic.com/1j8k1l #
Who needs a cart? #IKEA http://twitpic.com/1j8wlm #
At #IKEA during dinner, 6yo daughter was pitching concept for IKEA "Rib Night" commercial starring Tom Waits. #
I was seduced by the smell of bacon, but by the time I reached the kitchen THEY HAD EATEN IT ALL! http://youtu.be/2YYhpdtEBJA #BASTARD! #
Beer+DVD time. #ParanormalActivity http://amzn.to/95CwYe Not expecting much. Hype in commercials felt fake & pseudo doc gimmick is tired. #
Before #ParanormalActivity gets inevitably stupid, I'll be nice & say so far its "documentary" acting is 50 times better than Blair Witch's #
Don't like how chars in movies like this antagonize each other for no reason. #ParanormalActivity is not as bad as Blair Witch, but still. #
"Cinema Verite" != unmotivated conflict but is too often how fake doc makers interpret it. Micah in #ParanormalActivity too glib & obtuse. #
1st part of scene in #ParanormalActivity where she gets up at night alone was pretty good. This is well made but suspect it won't stand out #
Don't like rumbling sfx that accompanies events in #ParanormalActivity as if demon is slave to popculture cliches. Would be creepier w/o sfx #
#ParanormalActivity Micah is too cavalier with his highstrung gf. Any guy in that situation outside a trailer park understands consequences. #
BTW, the name Micah (MEE-kah) for a guy is just unfortunate and off-putting. #ParanormalActivity #
I don't like bickering in movies; it's artificial diet conflict and doesn't help dramatically. #ParanormalActivity would be better w/o it. #
#ParanormalActivity is OK though. 3am here & just heard noise in my house and it put me on edge. Just not comparable to genre classics. #
Maybe unfair to compare #ParanormalActivity to Poltergeist, The Entity, The Exorcist – they distinguished selves throughout and in detail. #
But too many scenes in #ParanormalActivity echo those better movies… Eh. Movie should've ended about 20 seconds earlier. Lame final bit. #
#ParanormalActivity better than expected, but suffered typical problems hoping "shock" ending would distinguish it. Ending tried too hard. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-04-25

Dorrk.com — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 01:02:00 +0000

My 6yo daughter is singing this song: http://youtu.be/WNkrpkk5Gwg Am I a bad parent for finding it hilarious when she says "I am in Todd!"? #
Health and Human Services Dept. report: Health Care Act will raise projected spending, not cut it. http://nyti.ms/9zUyL9 #
6yo daughter: "Dad, I want a rock 'n' roll thermometer that will tell me at the beginning of a song how much it is going to rock." #
Watching #Moon http://amzn.to/bJj0pJ intriguing scifi w/ Sam Rockwell. Odd to see him in this soon after quite different #GentlemenBroncos #
#Moon & #GentlemenBroncos takes vastly different approaches to sci-fi. GB trailer: http://bit.ly/dgXzMj #
#Moon just went from interesting to mildly awesome. Best Rockwell performance since excellent #SnowAngels http://amzn.to/cD0EeS #
#SnowAngels struck me how similar Sam Rockwell sounds to brilliant Bob Odenkirk. If they never play feuding douchebags brothers it's a loss. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-04-18

Dorrk.com — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 01:02:00 +0000

See p.156, line 4: http://bit.ly/3RdVa7 RT @jimgeraghty Congress may have eliminated its own health insurance. http://tinyurl.com/y58585f #
@LendogPDX Radio Shack is less useful than they used to be for this kind of thing. You might try searching NWCA.com; they're out on hwy 212. in reply to LendogPDX #
Clackamas Promenade DMV is cleanest, most efficient I've ever been to. Lic. renewed in under 10 mins. No lines,quiet, even smelled pleasant! #
Watching #GentlemenBroncos http://amzn.to/ae46qb by Nap. Dynamite's Jared Hess. About young sci-fi writer at teen writer's conference. #
#GentlemenBroncos is so far erratic & a little too broad but amusing; Jemaine Clement's supporting role as pompous guru is scene-stealing. #
Mockery of bad genre writing and writers may be a wide target but #GentlemenBroncos is hitting it in abundance, with affection & good humor. #
#GentlemenBroncos some characters (hint: Lonnie) are so out-there they overload quirk with wackiness & not sure this can sustain 90 mins. #
#GentlemenBroncos Mike White in Doug Henning wig is so extreme appears to be satirizing non-existent target, but funny enough to forgive. #
#GentlemenBroncos has weird anachronistic feel. Looks very 70s/80s but chars talk about Euros and e-mail; filmmaker char shoots on VHS. #
I love that movies like #GentlemenBroncos sincerely use great cheesy 80s songs like The Scorps' "Winds of Change." #
Glad my wife left #GentlemenBroncos before the graphic puking & puke-soaked kissing scene. She don't cotton to contemp movie vomit trends. #
Now #GentlemenBroncos soundtrack is rocking the Cher. And it works. Good times. #
#GentlemenBroncos just went from amiably, if awkwardly, quirky to batshit crazy, for a brief moment. #
#GentlemenBroncos is definitely not a crowdpleaser, but full of small moments that hit the right spot. Better than Napoleon Dynamite, IMO. #
Plot of #GentlemenBroncos is pretty uninspired, but its style, texture and sensibility are unique, w/ performances that balance the shtick. #
Be warned: #GentlemenBroncos dir. Jared Hess makes "vibe" movies: if you can't get into his whitetrash-camp vibe, movie may be excruciating. #
If you do watch #GentlemenBroncos stay until after end credits for a sweet WTF moment involving Sam Rockwell + bald girl + honey. Oh yeeaah! #
Oh and if puke-kiss content does not warn you off #GentlemenBroncos those with snake-diarrhea phobias may also want to proceed with caution. #
My daughter made this picture during art class at school. It's a tribute to Dr. Seuss. (Watercolor pencils.) http://twitpic.com/1gmcu2 #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-04-11

Dorrk.com — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 01:02:00 +0000

@mrkorb It must be personal. Try the webmail. in reply to mrkorb #
#TheInformant! http://bit.ly/b2LB95 Surpringly funny Soderberg character study: part corp. whistleblower, part delusional conman. Fun music. #
Finally making time to watch disaster epic #2012 http://bit.ly/9Ck0Al. Can I get past implausibility of neutrinos causing physical reaction? #
#2012 If Danny Glover were really president, physical reaction of neutrinos would be the least of our problems. In fact, bring it on! #
#2012 I'm pretty sure Woody Harrelson is playing himself in this movie, only with clothes on. #
When I use iPhone IMDb app & click on "Go To IMDb" button, I always get ad for iPhone IMDb app, which I am using. Poorly targeted marketing. #
I know #2012, like other Roland Emmerich movies, is ridiculous, but that scene of Los Angeles crumbling was fucking awesome. Disasterpiece! #
The stretches of non-disaster "plot" in #2012 are, to put it mildly, numbingly insufferable. With another hour+ to go, need more apocalypse! #
Just when #2012 was starting to suck hard: St. Peter's Dome wipes out Vatican Sq. & tidal waves swallow Danny Glover. Redemption in tragedy. #
Feeling a little pissed off that #2012 just manipulated my emotions with John Cusack family scene. Need carnage now to cleanse my palate. #
Fuck you, Roland Emmerich; you and your #2012. #
@culturepulp Have you seen the book of Kurosawa's painted storyboards for RAN? http://bit.ly/dnkPUf I have it if you want to borrow. in reply to culturepulp #
That epic battle scene in RAN, the best part is how it unfolds and builds with no sound fx. Virtuoso stuff. @culturepulp #
@culturepulp RAN was Kurosawa's last great film. He teeters at times into the lame didacticism of his later movies, but he always saves it. #
@culturepulp You may refer to this definitive review of RAN if you have any questions: http://www.dvdjournal.com/reviews/r/ran_cc.shtml #
Watching #TheTimeTravelersWife http://bit.ly/d1Ltnd Must warn daughters that naked man claiming to be husband from future is stranger danger #
Apparently timetravel gives one license to break into cars & steal at will w/o losing romantic appeal #TheTimeTravelersWife #
So his timetravel power doesn't allow him to change past. That makes him Ashton Kutcher's bitch, doesn't it, ladies? #TheTimeTravelersWife #
With #TheTimeTravelersWife courtship starting at age 6 & Twilight's unsettling werewolf+baby soulmate angle, is CREEPY the new romantic? #
Girl plans from age 6 to marry involuntary time traveler. Once married, complains about his time travel. Caveat emptor #TheTimeTravelersWife #
Maybe #TheTimeTravelersWife is providing great service for girls with message: "Soulmates are overrated & potentially huge disappointments." #
Age-old fairytale of marrying timehopping kleptomaniac streaker doesn't always turn out the way you hoped, girls. #TheTimeTravelersWife #
What happened to the 3 timeshifting fetuses that miscarried. Did they just plop down in bloody clumps somewhen else? #TheTimeTravelersWife #
When his young daughter time travels does she wind up naked and stealing clothes in strange places, too? Ew. #TheTimeTravelersWife #
Watching #Stepfather2 http://bit.ly/cO1HJa 1st impression is that star Terry O'Quinn is going to have a far tougher time elevating this one. #
I really think escaped psycho Jerry in #Stepfather2 is ready to stop killing broken families and become the great stepdad he aspires to be. #
Did I mention that the full title of #Stepfather2 is "Stepfather II: Make Room for Daddy?" Pretty scary, huh? No? You're right. Not scary. #
Familiar Matty from #Stepfather2 is Caroline Williams: Stretch from the great horror sequel Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 http://bit.ly/9492Tw #
#Stepfather2 lame sub-title not mitigated by Terry O'Quinn's constant crazy shouting "Make room for daddy!" during acts of rage. #
How many times does a psycho need to be stabbed in the chest before they stop making sequels? Find out in #Stepfather3 ! #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-04-04

Dorrk.com — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 01:02:00 +0000

When I was kid in 70s/80s I didn't care for Close Encounters of the Third Kind http://bit.ly/aSy4C4 Now as adult I find it quite brilliant. #
@culturepulp Well, they abandon him first, but he doesn't really seem attached to them, does he? Maybe symbolic of Spielberg/Irving romance? in reply to culturepulp #
I always mistake opening riff of Bowie's Modern Love for intro of Footloose. #
@culturepulp How did you miss that at age 10-11? Bears no relation to actual myths, but fun stuff. Kids love the Medusa stuff. Nightmares! in reply to culturepulp #
Christ, "2012" is 157 mins long? It better be as good/bad as The Postman for me to endure that. May take 2-3 sittings to get thru it all. #
Watching #Ponyo http://bit.ly/d5Fm5Y w the kids. So this enviro-fanatic living underwater? Is this what Al Gore will be doing in 10 years? #
In #Ponyo is it artifact of cutural self-loathing that characters have Japanese names but look western? Or just more universal marketing? #
#Ponyo Just like Underwater Guy's self-loathing of fellow humans? #
#Ponyo Fun Facts: "water can't make fish wet." Also, creepy fish with faces like to eat human blood. Also: destroy humans w black souls! #
#Ponyo Really isn't hard to imagine Al Gore moving to bottom of sea & feverishly keeping nature in balance while plotting doom of mankind #
Sort of refreshing: enviro message in #Ponyo doesn't endorse wholesale Human genocide + heroine is sellout fish who'd rather be filthy human #
@culturepulp The Archie spin-off my kids love: Groovie Goolies http://youtu.be/1iDixTDogug in reply to culturepulp #
Inspired by recent remake, & Terry O'Quinn's great performance in Lost, tonight's movie is 1987 slasher #TheStepfather http://bit.ly/cGWmlv #
#TheStepfather generated rare Oscar chatter despite genre, but took O'Quinn almost 20 years to find another standout role on Lost. #
#TheStepfather Cheesy cheapo 80s synth score does not hold up well, very typical of contemporary horror music. #
#TheStepfather Suprising full frontal O'Quinn cock shot in opening minutes. Didn't see that very often before Apatow's recent juggernaut. #
#TheStepfather also has one of my big movie cheat petpeeves: character walking in street for better shot framing instead of nearby sidewalk. #
#TheStepfather Oscar speculation was ONLY for O'Quinn, rest of movie pretty typical psycho slasher stuff, but he is unusually compelling #
#TheStepfather stars O'Quinn as nutbag marrying into – and killing – families. Doesn't pace psychosis very carefully, just jumps right in. #
Wow, #TheStepfather has some Lifetime Movie calibre writing and acting. Remake's acting overall better + plus lots of half-naked Amber Heard #
But original #TheStepfather does the story a little better despite cheesy flaws. O'Quinn really elevates it more than it deserves. #
Should note that the picture quality on this DVD of #TheStepfather ranges from mediocre to piss-poor. Shame. #
They should show #TheStepfather as a "How-not-to" training vid for aspiring realtors. (Buyers with bashed skulls less likely to close.) #
WTF is Shelley Hack wearing in #TheStepfather thanksgiving scene? She looks like a pioneer-era 80-yr-old school marm. #
Only thing worse than Shelley Hack's Thanksgiving garb in #TheStepfather is Shelley Hack's acting. Charlie's Angels didn't cast for talent. #
O'Quinn goes from normal-to-psycho-and-back-again so swiftly & effortlessly, you almost want cheer on his murderous spree in #TheStepfather. #
Ok, so O'Quinn's line "You're a very bad girl!" isn't exactly the high point of his otherwise excellent performance in #TheStepfather. #
Naked Jill Schoelen near end of #TheStepfather ably cancels out naked Terry O'Quinn from beginning of movie. Well played. #
Must find! IMDb: Jill Schoelen started in Fame-influenced TV pilot called Best of Times (1981) starring Nicolas Cage and Crispin Glover. #
1987 #TheStepfather above average for genre; be interesting to see how they rationalize sequel given lack of typical hint at end of pt 1. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-03-28

Dorrk.com — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 01:02:00 +0000

Watching 1984 French flick One Deadly Summer (L'ete Meurtrier) http://bit.ly/aIZHZW Must-see for fans of "crazy bitch" genre #LeteMeurtrier #
#LeteMeurtrier Isabelle Adjani is naked, f-ed up and out for revenge. Started like quirky euro romance, but more like Fatal Attraction now #
#LeteMeurtrier Not really like Fatal Attraction plot-wise, just for "iconic crazy bitchness." Although both movies do feature dead rabbits. #
#LeteMeurtrier may be something Chan Wook Park watched to gin up for his vengeance trilogy. Quirkiness aside, it has very dark raw edge. #
Watching #Zombieland http://bit.ly/aLJytl if so few people left, why aren't there swarms of zombies everywhere? Even L.A. is deserted. #
Do all movies on BluRay start with commercial about how much cooler normal DVDs are? If I were a DVD I'd resent BluRay's incessant preening. #
Watching #TheHangover I'm usually wary of and disappointed by most popular comedies, but I've already laughed 5-6 times in 1st 15 mins #
#TheHangover is funny and everything bit right now I'm just mostly feeling sorry for the baby. Am I no longer a man? #
This one's for @culturepulp: http://youtu.be/Hg8keQh6Ajo Enjoy! #
Watching first part of #breakingbad season premiere just reminding me how annoying I found season two finale. #
Watching some @okkervilriver clips on Youtube. Noticing Will Sheff looks conspicuously like main guy in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-03-21

Dorrk.com — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 01:02:00 +0000

Over Oveur. Peter Graves now Watching gladiator movies in heaven. RT @KFINEWS LA Times reports actor Peter Graves dead #
Good theory. But he died because he ate the fish. @jimgeraghty re: Peter Graves… cause of death: first Mission: Impossible movie. #
Capitalism: A Love Story http://bit.ly/dm6rNU Opening montage of bank robberies. MM's POV so extreme it's actually backwards #CapitalismLove #
#CapitalismLove Something tells me there's going to be lot of sad, extreme stories w/ as little context provided as possible. Typical Moore. #
#CapitalismLove First expert interviewed? Wallace Shawn. Seriously. Moore & Shawn's "expertise" inconceivable in less free economic system. #
#CapitalismLove Moore is very good at propaganda & usually quite funny. Hilarious cut from ERA march to film clip of Reagan slapping woman. #
#CapitalismLove Common thread in failing industries spotlighted so far is unusual level of gov't regulation. Waiting for his alt. proposal. #
#CapitalismLove Moore saying 1 problem w/capitalism is how underpaid/overworked pilots are? How does ditching capitalism = higher pay? #
#CapitalismLove Arguments scattered. Problems: low pay & high pay; law breakers & law enforcers; inept unions & union busting; everything. #
#CapitalismLove Moore confuses morality of voluntary Christian charity for gov't-compelled $ redistribution. Morality is in the choosing. #
#CapitalismLove Now he's using cases of free market ingenuity and individualism (co-op businesses) to bash system that enables them. #
#CapitalismLove Moore making good case that top students from top unversities can be collectively full of shit. Anti-elitism isso rightwing! #
#CapitalismLove Exposing cases of elite & gov't collusion/corruption hardly argues in favor of econ. system planned by gov't of same elites. #
#CapitalismLove After yrs of blasting GM for opposite, Now Moore is attacking company bringing jobs to Flint, MI. Everything fits his thesis #
#CapitalismLove Capitalism calls. Had to put this one on pause & catch up on some work. Too late now; will watch the rest during the week. #
#CapitalismLove Nice to see Moore single out Chris Dodd's mortgage fraud. Moore's brief isn't w/Capitalism it's w/Corporatism & he conflates #
#CapitalismLove Corporatism happens when gov't becomes too entwined w/business, not when leaves free market alone. Result of overregulation #
#CapitalismLove Moore likes to decry fear-mongering right before launching into his own dark warnings about sinister corporate conspiracies. #
#CapitalismLove you have to wonder if the mobs of protesters against foreclosures and layoffs have any idea where homes and jobs come from. #
The New Transparency: Obama admin denied FOIA requests 466,872 times during the 2009, up from 312,683 under Bush http://bit.ly/dqskCc #
Ted Kennedy tries to roll over in grave: Mass. Treasurer: MassCare on Nat'l Scale will "Wipe Out the American Economy" http://bit.ly/9hoD96 #
Finally finishing #CapitalismLove which has become completely aimless with an absurd & meaningless laid-off workers protest. Muddled mess. #
Always surprises me when activists decry corrupt collusion of gov't + business & proposed solution is even more collusion #CapitalismLove #
#CapitalismLove Non-sequiter w/hurricane Katrina thrown in at the end. This is Moore's most incoherent work, disappointing as entertainment. #
#CapitalismLove WTF does it even mean to replace capitalism with democracy? Not an economic system & since when has Moore praised democracy? #
Watching #Ninja http://bit.ly/b1VdwB Comfort Food if you grew up on Sho Kosugi's ninja b-movies in the 80s. So far, cliched campy fun. #
Too many #ninja movies star non-Asian as good ninja. My favorite was 1983 Revenge of the Ninja http://bit.ly/c2YSzQ w/Kosugi as good guy. #
#ninja star Scott Adkins looks like Ben Stiller playing Ben Affleck playing a bad actor in a bad ninja b-movie. Good times. #
Lots of innocent bystanders getting wasted in #ninja always a sign of high quality shlock genre moviemaking. But can it keep up momentum? #
Note to self: if you hire bad #ninja to do dirty work, do not later piss off or welch on deal with bad ninja. #
Cute Asian chick in constant peril in #ninja always has such tense look on face, I expect her to start moving furniture w/ her mind any sec. #
What kind of pussy #ninja wears night vision goggles? Real ninjas have actual night vision. It's a biological fact. #
Bad #ninja dressed like he's auditioning to fight vampires with Blade. WTF, bad ninja flew away wearing a Batman cape! Holy throwing stars! #
No surprise everyone at satanic cult-like corporate meeting in #ninja is armed. Note to self: cult-like corp. meetings likely to end badly. #
Not to stereotype, but no way ancient #ninja outfit designed for Asian is going to fit big muscled White dude out-of-the-box w/o tailoring. #
#ninja borrows heavily from 1981 genre pioneer Enter the Ninja. Lots of deviation but several key plot points align and there's no credit? #
Would never recommend #ninja as high qual action, but decently hits right notes as genre pic. Can't believe no death for corp cult leader. #
Revanche http://bit.ly/xiv48 Austrian drama takes typical crime thriller plot points & strips the Hollywood BS (fun). Good Haneke-ish style. #
Not only is "long wait" backlog in my #Netflix queue 40+, but some new titles not available at all for 1 mo. after DVD released at Amazon. #
1 mo. delay for #Netflix availability makes sense as studios tap sales market before rentals, but it exasperates already ridiculous wait. #
While dissing #Netflix, the recommendation system sucks. 0 recs for me til I "rate more movies." I've rated 2,644! WTF do they want from me? #
Hm. Wonder if #Netfflix read that. Bitched on Twitter about long wait queue and suddenly Zombieland goes from "Very Long Wait" to shipping. #
Months ago I called #Netflix and complained that Gran Torino had been on top of queue at Very Long Wait for months. It shipped out next day. #
Watching We Live In Public http://bit.ly/9es0Pw. Doc abt Internet pioneer Josh Harris & experiments in exhibitionism + tech #weliveinpublic #
#weliveinpublic Knew about weliveinpublic.com 10 yrs ago, but not other crazy tech obsessions. Embodies near every freak aspect of net age. #
#weliveinpublic Bizarre 'Quiet' cult-like big brotherish co-op hotel is about to go terribly terribly wrong, as well it should. #
#weliveinpublic As crazed as Josh Harris seems at times, he also seems to have very solid grasp on what he was doing and what it meant. #
#weliveinpublic Like he was acutely aware of his obsessions and consciously pushed through them head-first to survive them and move on. #
#weliveinpublic Also amazing dotcom story. Worth $80mil, wiped out in 2001, simply too far ahead of his time, and lost in era he predicted #
#weliveinpublic Director Ondi Timoner also made BRILLIANT music doc DiG! http://bit.ly/9qvrHm about divergent paths of two bands. Amazing. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-03-14

Dorrk.com — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 01:02:00 +0000

Al Gore, naked. The Standard has a pretty thorough recap of all the recent climate change controversies & retractions http://shar.es/mHVL3 #
In the scene on the boat tonight, Richard looked — and acted — just like Anthony Perkins in Psycho #LOST #
Go to the store for 20 mins. Come back and my block is cordoned off by the bomb squad. They let me through. Guess I don't look combustible. #
Speaking of bombs, Netflix sent me Michael Moore's "Capitalism: A Love Story" today. I have a movie backlog, but this might jump over a few. #
Also from Netflix today: "The Stoning of Soraya M." and "Ninja." I think those two often played as double feature in theaters. #
These are the people in my neighborhood RT @pdxalerts BREAKING: Explosives have been found at Milwaukie home; neighbors being evacuated. #
Explosives around corner from us, abt 10 houses away. We've heard of delinquent with penchant for illegal fireworks down there. @pdxalerts #
Weird. News helicopters are circling overhead. The cop blocking our end of the street didn't seem to think we were in danger up the hill. #
Fox12 reports "Milwaukie police said they have not confirmed the materials found are explosive." http://bit.ly/cak0at Bummer. #
Nothing's blown up. Police are no longer barricading us. Investigation into the "suspicious items" is on-going. http://bit.ly/cak0at #
Read "Charlie & Choc Factory" to kids for 2nd time. W.Wonka is a prick & OompaLoompas are douchebags. Book is OK; sequel is worst book ever. #
Watching remake of The Stepfather http://bit.ly/dmOMGn Brilliant only for exploitation of slutty Amber Heard, always in bikini/underwear. #
Amber Heard fun fact: not only is she impossibly hot and keen on flaunting it, she's also an acolyte of Ayn Rand! http://bit.ly/atlVFU #
Nearly every shot of Amber Heard in Stepfather remake is gratuitous ass/bare-midriff shot. Smart save for lack of brilliant Terry O'Quinn. #
Also re: Stepfather remake, Sela Ward appears to have stopped aging 20 yrs ago. Ex-husband char. accused her of letting self go. Absurd. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-03-07

Dorrk.com — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 00:02:00 +0000

#Splinterheads http://bit.ly/cjG4iX Mild slacker comedy w/geocaching subplot – activity that has enthralled my family @mrkorb @granjanmarie #
#Splinterheads 1 of those movies where everything is fraction away from working. If it worked it would be OK low-key quirky sleeper at best #
#Splinterheads Ultimately sweet & never annoying but also never as funny as it thinks it is; stoned people may find it hilarious. Not bad. #
Wolfmother's Cosmic Egg: SuperRockingFuckingtasticExpialiKickAss http://bit.ly/aneqwl Imagine Jack White gang-raped by Zeppelin & Sabbath. #
Note to self: Change today's lunch plans @ 29th & Powell. RT @pdxalerts: Powell Blvd. shut down from SE 28th to SE 32nd due to a gas leak. #
That may be my first actually useful interaction with Twitter. Thanks to @pdxalerts! #
OK Go's music video for This too Shall Pass is amazing. http://youtu.be/qybUFnY7Y8w #
Brenda Hampton: worst TV producer ever. Yet I find myself addicted to her painfully awful shows. 7th Heaven. Secret Life of Teenager. Barf. #
#brightstar http://bit.ly/a5RW25 Jane Campion's visual obsession w fabric & flowers movie like world's longest lovliest detergent commercial #
Seriously #brightstar is just quietly exquisitely beautiful in the most delicate way #
#brightstar BTW I've loved Paul Schneider since All the Real Girls http://bit.ly/aXc11r Always interesting + looks like P.T. Anderson. #
Also in #brightstar Abbie Cornish looks like puffy Katie Holmes, thankfully w/o mannered acting. Also fine in Candy http://bit.ly/bcNhVK #
Speaking of P.T. Anderson, it would be hilarious if this was really his web site: http://www.ptanderson.com/ #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-02-28

Dorrk.com — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 00:02:00 +0000

Bugging me: Wasn't there a movie where Don Knotts played a donut maker and something valuable like a diamond got lost in the dough? Title? #
Movie time! Now showing, Park Chan-Wook's Thirst http://bit.ly/brs2HP Fan of his vengeance trilogy. Curious to see what he does w/ vampires. #
#thirst rated R for "graphic bloody violence, disturbing images, strong sexual content…" Can't be a Park film, can it? #
#thirst Did I really just read a subtitle of a Korean priest saying "Absoposilutely?" #
#thirst Park's movies balance considerable shock value with so many lovely details. #
#thirst Typical casual throwaway chitchat from Park, as husband says: "Women shouldn't get sedated endoscopes. Doctors secretly rape them." #
#thirst Always also some kind of weird tortured sexual dynamic too. He's sort of like a weird Asian mix of David Lynch & Martin Scorsese. #
#thirst I think David Cronenberg would have to be in the mix, too. But it's all very unique, just offering some reference points. #
#thirst 1st halfhour oddball priest volunteers infection w/ virus for experiment, is only survivor. Recurring symptoms abated by vampirism. #
#thirst Oh some very nice and creepily beautiful new ways of depicting a vampire there. Rare to see such graceful invention in old genre. #
#thirst Is Park's family life remotely as f?ckedup as every family in all his movies? There's always a whirlwind of dark sick dysfunction. #
Be interesting to hear what a Korean Catholic thinks of #thirst. Seems to be a lot of cultural baggage being explored… #
#thirst "If you had only heard the sponge cake story." One of the best lines ever. BTW it's f?cking tough 2 do this during subtitled movies. #
#thirst You have to love a director so confident that he uses his important special effects so subtly you could easily miss them. #
#thirst I'm no Catholic but pretty sure if a priest grants absolution in exchange for vampire blood, it doesn't count as real absolution. #
#thirst is slower paced than Park's great vengeance trilogy, but w/ hour left I have no idea what's in store. How often can you say that? #
#thirst At 81 mins., least erotic threesome ever (assuming Weekend at Bernies series never went there)? #
#thirst really lost it's energy and purpose after 90 mins. Maybe I've seen too much Buffy, but all the vamp ideas now feel like retreads. #
Lots of great stuff in #thirst, but lost me during the guilt section & I stopped caring. Too long (2:13) w/all fresh ideas used up in 90min. #
@culturepulp Tried 2 watch Tron few mos. ago. Off @ 20mins. Sullied memory of flinging margarine container lids at friends ala deadly discs. in reply to culturepulp #
@JonahNRO today: "Obama White House strategy is rhetorical version of Keynesianism: more you spend, bigger the payoff." http://bit.ly/dhk6mY #
@culturepulp Another blow to childhood hero-worship: Harrison Ford is a chest-waxing cheeseburger-scarfing enviro-Tom: http://is.gd/9gaFc #
@culturepulp What, no c&fatboy podcast today? #
@JonahNRO My 6YO loves RocknRoll Queen by The Subways and, weirdly, Don't fight It by Kenny Loggins and Steve Perry. in reply to JonahNRO #
@JonahNRO Best Ramones song for this is Do You Wanna Dance, but my kids also love Twisted Sister's We're Not Gonna Take It + I Wanna Rock in reply to JonahNRO #
@JonahNRO Last suggestion, one I'm sure you already have covered in spades: MR. ROBOTO. Had my daughter speaking Japanese @ age 3. Have fun. in reply to JonahNRO #
Absolutely withering EU Parliment action: http://youtu.be/bypLwI5AQvY Make the U.S. seem quite prude given our political outrages. #
This Nigel Farage guy needs to be verbed. See Blair get #faraged! See Sarkozy get #faraged! See entire EU get #faraged! http://bit.ly/aVuwk2 #
@culturepulp Song from ZD's neat MWard album She&Him Vol1 (Vol2 coming next month). You might like this tv showtune : http://bit.ly/6r3zc8 in reply to culturepulp #
US court rules 'Zombies have free speech rights' : http://bit.ly/93BEWm via @jonahNRO at The Corner #
Obama's anecdotal analogy at Health Summit reveals he doesn't get how basic car insurance works. Really? Tom Maguire : http://bit.ly/9TAdXI #
Tonight's shitty DVD: #Whiteout http://bit.ly/bMHIL0 Pro: Kate Beckinsale Con: Since The Thing 82 why bother making movie set in Antarctica? #
#Whiteout No matter how well intentioned, starting shootout on plane above arctic wasteland will never turn out how you hoped. Bad start. #
Maybe the title #Whiteout refers to the opaque fast-drying liquid that should have been applied liberally to first 10 pages of screenplay. #
Apparently in #Whiteout Beckinsale works in beatnik rebel commune on Hoth. At least they had good sense to cut right to underwear scenes. #
#Whiteout It's her last mission, what could possibly go wrong? When do we as weary audience declare, "We're getting too old for this shit?" #
Speaking of Hoth, in #Whiteout Kris Kristofferson looking suspiciously like Wampa snow beast. #
I smell in 1st 15mins #Whiteout is another preachy Eco-thriller. Has to be better than "Chaos Theory," which defied conventional awfulness. #
She picked remote post to escape ghosts of past. Ironically, now she must face them! Suspect this plot was assembled by $50 software app. #
Kristofferson in #Whiteout should know that Hoth base has successful history of creating prosthetic hands, no need for drastic measures. #
Have to admit now that I have beet on my side the actual whiteout fight scene in #Whiteout was silly fun and not something I've seen before. #
Have to admit now that I have beer on my side the actual whiteout fight scene in #Whiteout was silly fun and not something I've seen before. #
Eco-preachiness in #Whiteout limited to gratuitous idiotic one-liner. Movie isolates its badness in hackneyed plot, CGI breath effects. #
Let me correct myself. That was Tom Skeritt NOT Kris Kristofferson in #Whiteout. Those two have melded into a oneness worthy of Krishna. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-02-21

Dorrk.com — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 00:02:00 +0000

Nearly every mainstream family movie has at least one scene or moment that skews wildly inappropriate, and adds no narrative value. Why? #
@culturepulp Rolling Thunder has 1 of most incongruous opening songs of any hard boiled exploitation thriller: "San Antone" by Denny Brooks. in reply to culturepulp #
@culturepulp I have dream playlist of 70s exploitation soundtrack ballads that are impossible to find. "San Antone" leads the list. #
Also on #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads: "Mama's Little Girl No More" by Linda George from Felicity (1979) #
@culturepulp #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads: "The Teacher" by Jackie Ward from The Teacher (1974) #
@culturepulp #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads: "Cross roads" from Massacre at Central High (1976) #
@culturepulp #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads:"Money Is the Root of All Happiness" from The Candy Snatchers (1973) #
@culturepulp #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads "The Warm Side of the Door" from Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) #
@culturepulp #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads "Pretty Things" from truly awful Slashed Dreams (1975) #
@culturepulp #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads + haunting improbably beautiful title theme from Cannibal Holocaust (1980) by Ritz Ortolani #
@culturepulp #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads possibly include some of the oddball hippie ragtime from original Last House on the Left. #
@culturepulp #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads Because nothing prepares you for rape, murder and mayhem like a syrupy AM radio pop ballad #
@culturepulp #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads Bit disturbed that I had this list so conveniently prepared. #
@culturepulp #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads "Slashed Dreams" (aka "Sunburst") is vile w/classically wrong sndtrck by Roberta Van Dere #
Just caught up w/ #breakingbad s2 finale. Disappointed in contrivances. 2 much chaos theory. Smwhere Ashton Kutcher is kiling self in utero. #
Am I only one who found Terminator: Salvation 5X more satisfying & 10X less cheesy than T2? #
@andrewbreitbart Daniel Stern and John Heard? A powerful political reunion for the stars of C.H.U.D.! http://bit.ly/uWK7 in reply to andrewbreitbart #
@culturepulp I believe this is companion piece to your "Woman w TIE Fighter as Head" which I think you drew in margins of screenplay draft. in reply to culturepulp #
@culturepulp @kevinwmoore It gets better: cropped out is the shadow of the encroaching Dark Troll. I have the full pic around somewhere… in reply to culturepulp #
@culturepulp @blorvak Memorable feedback from that event: Disdainful European Girl: "American humor is not funny." in reply to culturepulp #
@culturepulp @blorvak And, from trembling, ashen female browser: "I don't think I like your book very much…" Good times! #
Inspired by @culturepulp #santaslilgimp is now back online, hopefully for good, here: http://www.santaslilgimp.com #
Bugging me abt #breakingbad: Journeyman public high school teacher needs to sell meth because his gov't health ins. won't cover chemo? Rly? #
Sitting down to watch The House of the Devil http://bit.ly/ct5I6e expecting low grade schlock, but it had intruiging cast. #
Tom Noonan Dee Wallace Mary Woronov – them's some psychotronic hall of famers. #
Ugh. Movie starts with a wildly bogus (and awkwardly written) "statistic" about Satanic Cults. Hopefully it's trying be funny. #
Liking the style so far: casually retro. Seems to have a confident sense of it's atmosphere, and not anxiously over doing it. #
#thehouseofthedevil Tom Noonan oozes creepiness, even just as a disembodied voice on the phone. #
#thehouseofthedevil Thing I hate most about contemp horror is overagressive style. This mimics the plain aesthetic of 70s/early 80s. Fresh. #
#thehouseofthedevil Greg Kihn band on the soundtrack. Loving this. Uh uh uh – uh uh – uh uh uh. #
#thehouseofthedevil So far has great acting for horror movie, on par w/ Orphan http://bit.ly/ab6CwY w/Vera Farminga & Peter Sarsgaard. #
#thehouseofthedevil Ha ha dig the photo on writer/director Ti West's IMDB profile http://bit.ly/cyNX1k #
#thehouseofthedevil 2/3 in & this movie is nailing the details. Still scratching head over illiterate opening title, though. #
#thehouseofthedevil Last 20 mins were messy, but OK. The art of The Ending has been mostly lost, esp in genre movies. Potential was there. #
#thehouseofthedevil Will def seek out more Ti West flicks, start w/ Cabin Fever 2. 1st Cabin Fever was fun w a crazy streak. Ideal 4 West. #
A brief history of the Stimulus (which now appears to mean "An Enormous Boner"): http://bit.ly/amy8kS #
$250+Billion stimulus spent so far to "create" less than <2million "jobs?" That's >$125k spent per "job." Wonder what avg wage per "job" is? #
Assuming these aren't largely high wage jobs, generously assume $50k per job. Each "created job" has therefore wasted $75k? #
What% of these 2 million jobs created are private sector, and what% is bloat added to federal workforce? Amity Shlaes: http://bit.ly/axXVk7 #
Some context on the Stimulus jobs #s: Not only failed to meet promised job growth, but # not real jobs, based on model: http://bit.ly/boJMHM #
White house used model to predict job growth, and then used same model to claim job growth – but missed own target by 1+million. Success! #
Reading watered down "Dracula" to the kids. To amuse myself, I perform all of Jonathan Harker's dialog like Keanu Reeves in the 1992 movie. #
Reading a kid's book in the voice and inflection of Keanu Reeves is unsettlingly natural. #
Watching "Public Enemies" http://bit.ly/c4ZMEb Billy Crudup's accent sounds like 1 of Trey Parker's South Park voices. #
#publicenemies Godawfully dull w over 1hr left. Good moments here and there; no anchor. I like Johnny Depp but his starpower is overrated. #
Wow, scene in #publicenemies where Dillinger casually strolls through the office investigating him deserves to be in a much better movie. #
@culturepulp Agree. Cotillard & Lang had no business making that scene so good w undeveloped characters. in reply to culturepulp #
Mann has made classics: Manhunter, Insider, Heat. But when he misfires, like Ali & #publicenemies, it's a whole lotta empty nothing. #
On to Cabin Fever 2, another Ti West project. It's a bit funny so far, but not tight like #thehouseofthedevil Poor Superbad cloning early on #
#cabinfever2 The sooner the fat kid dies the better for everyone. Some of the acting is too broad, and not in a good way. #
#cabinfever2 Yes. I demand subtle acting in a movie about a high school prom hit with an outbreak of hemorragic fever. I'm just that way. #
Ti West's direction of #cabinfever2 is nowhere near as assured as it was in #thehouseofthedevil despite both being released in 2009. #
Anyone hoping to be grossed out in myriad ways #cabinfever2 is definitely one to look out for. It carries a +5 Bag O' Many Ewwws. #
Judah Friedlander should've given some tips in low-key comedic acting to the rest of the #cabinfever2 cast. #
I can see so much of #cabinfever2 working with better delivery and direction. To compensate, a giant rabbit is about to start puking blood. #
I advise anyone with a puking blood phobia to stay away from #cabinfever2. Those not so afflicted, prepare for juicy fun. #
#cabinfever2 Nice use of The Ramones' "Somebody Put Something in My Drink." Flaws of this movie aside, it's got creative energy of a kind. #
Hey, it's the dude from American Movie! Mark, the director of Coven. However, #cabinfever2 missed a big opportunity with the giant rabbit. #
#cabinfever2 Well. This is not the kind of hand job most guys hope to get from their prom dates. #
#cabinfever2 is 2nd Ti West Bmovie I've seen in as many nights that devolves into incoherence as plot escalates. Otherwise promising talent. #
Ti West has apparently disowned #cabinfever2 claiming studio recut movie & massacred ending, so all chaos+flaws I rued may not be his fault. #
My last #cabinfever2 post, promise. Brief bit about about editing and reshots out of West's hands in Day 5 recap here: http://bit.ly/GQPj9 #
Stimulus: Texas homes being weatherized at cost of $78k PER HOME. http://bit.ly/aB6qRD Job growth in admin. dealing w/ stimulus paperwork! #
Mel Gibson speaking truth to Reporter:http://gawker.com/5462862/ #charmoffensive #melgisbon #
if there's anyone who's not sick of my b-movie ramblings, I hope to watch "The Final Destination" tonight, around 11pm PST. Thx Netflix! #
Rare Netflix coup today scoring 3 movies that have been mired in the 30+ "Very Long Wait" clog at the top o my queue. Dreary service lately. #
@mattmlpdx When I 1st switched over from blockbusteronline I used to get new movies within a week of release. Now lucky to get within 3 mos. #
I have never heard my 6-year-old laugh as hard as she is right now during Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. #
Does MS purposely make networking Windows 7 with XP a bloody nightmare so we will upgrade all our computers more quickly? Full of hate now. #
The Final Destination is pt4 in the series of movies in which the inanity of the plot is exceeded only by the convoluted carnage. Great fun. #
Plot: group of young people barely escape gruesome convoluted death only for death to hunt them down in more convoluted and gruesome fashion #
#finaldestination4 begins with racetrack disaster; not as inspired as previous airplane, freeway and roller coaster set pieces & faker gore #
#finaldestination4 Still expecting a gallery of ingeniously ridiculous disembowellings and decapitations. Like the flaming head right there. #
#finaldestination4 1 great thing about series is how easily kids figure out Death is stalking them, as if they just saw FD 1-3 on Discovery. #
In #finaldestination4 kids Googled plots of earlier movies – all carefully blogged of course despite everyone involved being dismembered. #
#finaldestination4 Ohh, 1st really creative demise, guy gets diced by impact against chain link fence. Makes up for lackluster energy so far #
#finaldestination4 Favorite FD series death was guy in 2 (or 3?) who was liquified by falling pane of sheet glass. #
#finaldestination4 Note to self: avoid swimming pools. That looked uncomfortable. But I heard a rumor that Richard Gere once did it for fun. #
The chicks in #finaldestination4 just don't have the charisma of Ali Larter, AJ Cook or Mary Elizabeth Winstead. OK but no star power. #
#finaldestination4 The victims are always so precious, like sheer sausage skins stuffed with blood pudding, ready to splatter on demand. #
#finaldestination4 My daughter's fear of escalators has just been confirmed in graphic detail. #
#finaldestination4 Wait, was that just a premonition of disaster inside a premonition of disaster? Death is going to be majorly pissed! #
#finaldestination4 wasn't quite as insane as the others but delivered some creative carnage & gets points for nice style in final scene. #
@culturepulp Been enjoying these podcasts + the ham-fisted appearance. A "20-something failure" but a 40-something success! in reply to culturepulp #
Watching This is England http://bit.ly/9aXVAi WTF w/Euro movies abt pre-pube kids getting sexy w/older girls. Do Euro women really do it? #
Also wrt http://bit.ly/9aXVAi Rich movie history of skinheads: Ed Norton, Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling, now Stephen Graham, all brilliant. #
Which 1990s movie is the exception to quality skinhead performances? This one: http://bit.ly/LMfXg Celebrate diversity: it's all ludicrous. #
Loving John Stossel's move to FBN. Instead of 4hrs/YR on ABC, he gets 1hr/WK. So far: Schools, Food, Rand, Debt, Cronyism, Hayek, Energy… #
@culturepulp @lendogPDX Characters inspired by real govtcamp people: Edna, Vi, Dub, Barb; rest fictional. Skeeter was local who helped out. in reply to culturepulp #
@culturepulp @lendogpdx Actor Paul played Castroite Huck Inn chef, no basis in reality. Paul freq complained his roommate did nude yoga. in reply to culturepulp #
Many old G-rated movies surprisingly racy. 1958 musical Gigi about affairs of Paris socialites w/young girl in queue. http://bit.ly/9×3Tej #
G-rated Gone With the Wind: woman trades sex for opportunity + scene in whorehouse; movie addresses prostitution, shouldn't be PG, at least? #
Louis Jordan's big song in Gigi is only slightly less creepy version of shocking child bride anthem in South Pacific. #
Theory: sexualization of girls is not new phenom; we are just more self-conscious about perversions we used to indulge without comment. #
Go ahead and hate your neighbor! Revisiting American classic 2night: Tom Laughlin's hippy vengeance flick Billy Jack http://bit.ly/bbi63f #
"One Tin Soldier" is of course king of cheesy 70s exploitation songs. Not on my recent #dreamplaylistofexploitationballads Not obscure enuf. #
#billyjack A Green Beret half-breed recluse philosopher kicking redneck ass in the name of social justice! #
#billyjack He's an anti-war killing machine teaching love & tolerance with the bloodstained heel of his boot! #
#billyjack Oddly there appear to be more hippy castaway children in the local commune school than there are people in town. #
#billyjack Writer/director/star Tom Laughlin was the Kevin Costner of his day. His movies are mythologized love letters to himself. #
#billyjack He fights barefoot. Is that also how he ran around the jungles of Viet Nam? #
#billyjack Once the town thugs realized they don't need to stand still and let Billy Jack hit them, he doesn't look so tough. #
#billyjack The leader of "Freedom School" is such a hippy she has sideburns. The students fight the man with insipid folk songs. Deadly! #
#billyjack "When we want Billy we contact him Indian Style." Does that mean they roll out a case of cheap beer and wait five minutes? #
#billyjack I kid, I kid. I kid because I love! #
#billyjack Hey that's Howard Hessman as the hippie drama teacher. Didnt know Dr. Johnny Fever was an Oregon native! http://bit.ly/9OWeAZ #
#billyjack Did you know the rifts in society can be healed through improvisational theater? Truth! #
#billyjack Fun fact: if you hold the Eagle Feather, getting multiple rattlesnake bites turns you into a more efficient beatific ass-kicker. #
#billyjack High Concept pitch: Easy Rider meets Rambo. #
#billyjack Movie is damning indictment of pacifism. Kids getting beat up by rednecks try 2 fight back with "street theater?" Force needed. #
#billyjack Maybe they shouldn't be using the Sheriff's real pistol as a prop. Damn hippies got no safety regulations. #
#billyjack teaches us there are bad people in world and dippy peace talk means nothing w/o real threat of violence to defend & enable it. #
I'd like to see #billyjack square off against Sheriff Buford T. Pusser from "Smokey and the Bandit." It would be one-sided, but funny. #
#billyjack "Damn your pacifism!" cries hippie girl, but rape victim insists her philosophy of non-violence makes it endurable. Pathology. #
#billyjack Why is it wrong for US/Europe to invade and supplant primitive cultures but OK for hippies to invade and transform redneck towns? #
#billyjack Maybe The Band of the Hand can enroll in Freedom School and add a paramilitary wing to the drama club. http://bit.ly/9iK7c2 #
After #billyjack takes out thug with 1 karate chop to throat, my wife: "You don't mess with a guy who's blood brother to a rattle snake." #
#billyjack Youth of America: "From the day I was born to this moment, and every second in between, life has been just one big shitbrick." #
#billyjack "An Indian is never afraid to die." Also never afraid to leave broken down car & random other junk in front yard on reservation. #
The friendly sheriff in #billyjack looks unsettingly like Pat Buchanan. Should have presciently made him a bad guy. #
#billyjack Also, is it a problem that part-Cherokee Tom Laughlin looks more like Troy Donahue than Jay Silverheels? #
Coven rocks final scene, "On the bloody morning after / One Tin Soldier rides away…." Soon: The Trial of #billyjack http://bit.ly/bbi63f #
BTW, this wreaks a mighty toll on my old 2nd Gen iPhone battery. #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-02-14

Dorrk.com — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 00:02:00 +0000

Movie I'm currently watching http://bit.ly/bvIJ4c co-stars Tom Sizemore, or, as I like to call him, "The Thinking Man's Michael Madsen." #
"Red" plot is old man (Brian Cox) avenging death of his eponymous dog. Could be inverted sequel to "Ol' Yeller." Presumably more violent. #
Cox old-timer character in "Red" relates to tagline on this old Nic Cage stinker poster: http://bit.ly/974OFR #
Prod. values are bad, like a made-for-Lifetime movie. Wrong subject matter though; maybe made-for-Animal Planet? #
I hope the August-December romance vibes I'm picking up on don't lead to anything steamy. I'm in no hurry to see Brian's cox. #
Brian Cox produced, no doubt sensing meaty lead role for himself, but it's remarkably boring for such hamfisted material. Big monologue dud. #
One of the best movies of the 90s was also named "Red": http://bit.ly/aVZSw8 Fell in love with Irène Jacob… #
One of favorite songs also named "Red" http://bit.ly/cxJ6Gi by Okkervil River. Unrelated song keeping me from bailing on movie. #
As final act starts and revenge sputters into action it occurs to me: Eastwood would have nailed this performance. #
Not to diss Brian Cox, who was a far superior Hannibal Lecter than scenery chewing Anthony Hopkins. But "Red" is a far cry from Gran Torino. #
Thank god "Red" is over. 2/10. Tepid and tame. Was curious about writer Jack Ketchum. http://bit.ly/b6giSc Curiosity resolved. #
Wayne Rooney is first ever player to score 20 EPL goals before end of January: http://shar.es/aLr46 via @sharethis . Well done, Wazza! #
Neat summary: Why are liberals so condescending? – http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/04/AR2010020403698.html #
Can't believe 22 yrs w/o seeing "Night of the Creeps." Came out during my Fangoria/FilmThreat phase! Deeply satisfying. http://bit.ly/aA1eCE #
Yuval Levin on health care: http://bit.ly/c9tBcR "difference between left and right is not difference of degree, but direction…" #
#breakingbad & #madmen both about men lying to women; is it tribal dynamic that I find myself empathizing with liars & deriding the victims? #
Trying to find logic in recent followers. Did I tweet #food or #health related? @health_head2toe @delivereddish @8packabs @wasoverweighted #
Behold the splendor of a post-partisan administration! Gibbs Mocks Palin During White House Briefing: http://bit.ly/90bC7e #
Obama the new Cheney? Post-partisan myth cont.:"Politically motivated criticism … only serve the goals of al-Qaeda." http://bit.ly/aD0c0Q #
FTR, I like partisanship. There's a name for political systems w/o opposing parties. Obama's "post-partisan" pose was never serious, obv. #
Obama critcizing Bush and GOP @2005: "as if Democrats are duty-bound to breathe life into his agenda" http://bit.ly/9h4tv3 #
O: "even sillier, as if opposing a plan that the people do not want is an illegitimate tactic for an opposition party" http://bit.ly/9h4tv3 #
Too much excellent new music to keep up w/in 2010. Start w/Midlake's "The Courage Of Others" http://bit.ly/9qxOpX #
Also recommended for strong indie songwriting: Eels' "End Times" http://bit.ly/cgG8hl. Yet to absorb new Spoon, Wolfmother, Shearwater, etc. #
Wow, 1st ep of "Happy Days" is racy. Had to turn it off until the kids went to bed. http://bit.ly/duywTT #
"Good ol' Mr. B!" that's how the girl in 1st Happy Days ep refers to gym teacher who tried to grope her. I don't recall so much sex in HD. #
I don't give a #$%& about John Mayer, but nice interview: "I've got a Benetton heart and a #$%& David Duke #$%&." http://bit.ly/90vNYP #
Last night's Windows updated crashed one of my PCs. Going through byzantine process of rolling back update via command prompt. How quaint. #
@mattmlpdx I've been back in Jr. High recently with this in the loop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTdP1MdERac #
If it wasn't already, Twitter is now officially uncool. I just got a note that my mom is following me. Hi Mom. #
@mrkorb re: crash, I wiped the drive and installed Windows 7. 7 seems pretty good, but networking 7 with XP is a headache of its own. in reply to mrkorb #

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-02-07

Dorrk.com — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 00:02:00 +0000

Trying to summon attention span for Part 2 of "Che." I think I read a year ago that the two parts have different styles. Hoping that's true. #
Hmm. Watch "Che" or play FIFA for two hours? Which will be more rewarding…? #
"Che" it is: Bolivia. Ironic if pt2 suceeds like Cuban revolution but pt1 flounders like Bolivian campaign did. #
Of course, this narrative format conveniently skips over Che's most brutal period, the part of his life that rarely makes it onto a T-shirt. #
Why show Che's executions of prisoners, gays, priests & children in Cuba when you can skip ahead six years and show him as a loving father? #
WTF is Lou Diamond Phillips doing in here? #
Che's Bolivian gang is dysfunctional; we never saw why the Cuban rebels were more efficient. I sense scapegoating of the native Bolivians. #
Yep those Bolivians were too self interested and lacked revolutionary spirit. Maybe Che also failed to inspire like Castro, despite his rep. #
PT2 is interesting. Conflict in failure. PT1 was pristine, dull. Also pt1 ignored villains; 2 has cool CIA op on the trail. Tension works! #
Minimalist expo recalls Crazy8s lyric: "it's hard to tell the good from the bad when they're both wearing camoflauge green jeans." #
Thought I spotted Jeffrey Wright in small role as wounded rebel, but he's uncredited. #
Great scene as lookouts for dwindling rebels discover the large number of army in pursuit of them. More of this kind of filmmaking needed. #
SPOILER: Che's been captured! Looking grim. I hope he makes it; I wonder what will happen… #
Good scene: Che's intimate conversation with soldier guarding him. Nowhere near enough of this kind of personal material in these movies. #
What? Che's accused of executing someone? Not this Che. It's all CIA lies!!!!! #
Death scene also excellently done; but Soderberg must be tool of rightwing: we all know CIA really pulled the trigger on Che! #
My iPhone's winter coat was torn and frayed. Replaced terrific Marware Sportsuit for bargain price of $6.99: http://bit.ly/dCFuQg #
@culturepulp That O clip is so disingenuous on so many levels Twitter is incapable of coping with a response… in reply to culturepulp #
Recent diet of Breaking Bad, Fringe, and movies like Death in Love, wife complains about "ickiness." Any overlooked chick flicks I can rent? #
Help Wanted: Justice Dept hiring civil rights lawyers. "Mental retardation, mental illness" preferred but not essential http://bit.ly/d71wC1 #
Neat NYT interactive budget chart http://bit.ly/bZN01L #
Walter Russell Mead: "The global warming movement as we have known it is dead." Nice summary of latest "science" goofs: http://bit.ly/ccbquo #
I dislike these recap shows, but apparently I forgot the entire last season of Lost. #
Bad sign when the recaps of episodes you've already seen are incoherent and confusing. #
Kate must have been in Indiana Jones' fridge when that bomb went off. #
I've always thought that the recurring slow, sad music cue in #lost borrows heavily from the chorus of Hall&Oates "One on One." #
#lost time shifting is contagious: wife is tired so hr2 will wait until tomorrow night when flash of white light reveals nothing else on tv. #
Has @Breitbart been banned from Twitter? Did he OD? Was he eaten by #demonsheep? After yesterday's flood, it's lonely around here w/o him. #
"It is strange for a President to complain repeatedly about ten-year old policies and then not propose to change them." http://bit.ly/cpAmFm #
Labash keeps falling of my radar, but he is hilarious. If only there were some way to keep up with him… http://bit.ly/8xkZ3l #
Suspect parenting: Currently creating family-safe edited version of Airplane! for the kids to enjoy this weekend. Shit will not hit fan. #
Labash: "Facebook is porn. With porn, you watch other people take off their clothes and abase themselves in public." http://bit.ly/coZQFL #
Good for @andrewbreitbart: Exasperated Right Rejects Birther at Tea Party http://bit.ly/dmogFO Farah+WND are evil twins of conservatism. #
Night of the Creeps, 1986. Aliens that look like ugly naked babies. This came highly recommended. http://bit.ly/a6qp1I #
Ah, ugly baby aliens + sorority girls. Shows far more promise now. #
Well, aliens + sorority girls + axe weilding asylum escapee. Now we have a movie. #
Natch, evil frat guys. Waiting for movie wth good frat guys battling evil nerds. Wait, that was called "Old School," wasn't it? #
We have a corpsesicle! The corpsesicle is killing David Paymer! #
For a B-movie, #nightofthecreeps had got all the cliches + humor, awareness & lots of ideas. And a zombie David Paymer. #
Anticipating obligatory shot of slithery alien slug inching up coed's bare leg…. #
"Girls, the good news is, your dates are here." "What's the bad news?" "They're dead." #nightofthecreeps #
Fact: #nightofthecreeps did the lawnmower vs. zombie challenge before Dead Alive. #
#nightofthecreeps maybe 2nd best American zombie movie of 80s, after Return of the Living Dead http://bit.ly/93dyZX #
Shot of slug on leg never happened, unless you count leg of crippled wisecracking male roommate on toilet. I do not. #

Che: a truly Marxist movie

Dorrk.com — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 11:13:14 +0000

Just finished watching Steven Soderberg’s two-part biopic of Ernesto “Che” Guevara. (I “live-tweeted” my reactions here.)

Che: Part One juxtaposes the successful 1957-1598 Castro-led insurgency in Cuba with Che’s post-revolution visit to the United Nations, where he is received as a celebrity amongst Manhattan socialites and other Third-World diplomats. Che: Part Two follows Che’s rather less successful attempt to bring the revolution to Bolivia. I won’t tell you how it ends. (Actually, I will.)

First, it’s no secret to anyone who has read my previous writing that I am not a fan of communism, and I am ideologically predisposed to not dig Che’s pop-cult status or feel any empathy toward his struggle. However, I like to think I am somewhat capable of appreciating good movies, regardless of their ideological content. For example, you can read my glowing review of the quite relevant 1962 masterpiece of pro-Castro propaganda I Am Cuba here. (Also relevant: my review of the “meh” romance The Motorcycle Diaries.) I also recently enjoyed the fascinating Baader Meinhof Complex, which is admittedly critical of the leftist German “Red Brigade” terrorist faction, although it does a good job of also depicting the youthful glamour of the movement.

I did not care for Soderberg’s Che — especially not the first part — for reasons primarily due to Soderberg’s stylistic approach, and secondarily its politics, which I found to be quite subdued, perhaps too much so.

It’s hard to say from watching exactly what Soderberg meant to accomplish with Che, largely because the style of the two movies is so austere that only rarely is there an opportunity for connection between the audience and the title figure. This approach particularly hampers Part One, as its depiction of Castro’s successful fomenting of rebellion throughout the Cuban countryside is so effortless that the movie utterly lacks tension.

While we do get a glimpse of Che’s evolution from a slightly bumbling, green asthmatic rebel into a feared commandante, Soderberg shows no interest in relating the secret of Che’s success nor the source of his later reputation. Likewise, Che chooses not to frame any narrative of the revolution. Castro insists at the beginning that his planned revolution will gain momentum in rural areas, and it does so with few obstacles, but tactically the effort is left a mystery. Soderberg doesn’t even attempt to characterize Batista’s enemy army until the very end, at which point they are demoralized and eager to surrender.

Just like the movies’ narrative, Soderberg’s characterizations of the Che and the other rebels is so ascetic, that unless one is presumably already empathetic toward leftist insurgency, there’s little cause to mourn their casualties or celebrate their victories. Che is a complete enigma from start to finish, as he quietly marches through the jungles toward Santa Clara.

Part Two fares better, primarily because its subject matter is rife with the kind of conflict absent from Part One: as Che attempts to carry on the revolution by leading a dysfunctional band of guerillas into Bolivia, they not only find sterner resistance from the Bolivian army, but sympathetic politicians offer no support, and the poor peasants in whose name Che professes to fight, reject both the violent nature and ideological content of the revolution. The answer to the question, “What if they gave a war, and no one comes?” is that you find informants everywhere, your rebels demoralized and defeated, and yourself face down riddled with bullets on the floor of a rundown Bolivian shack.

With both movies assembled as a dispassionate series of chronological events, the best scenes are the few, remote moments when Soderberg lets his camera close on on a feeling, rather than an action. Batista’s demoralized soldiers at the end of Part One, Che’s rebels discovering the size of the encroaching Bolivian army, and Che’s intimate conversation with the Bolivian soldier assigned to guard him. The rarity of these moments make them profound, but the bloodless rest of the film has drained them of real impact.

It’s almost as if Soderberg felt the need to atone for the excesses of his Hollywood movies, like the bubblegum Oceans series, and at the same time was leery of romanticizing or sensationalizing a controversial historical figure. Part One amounts to little more than a mildly polemic nature hike.

It must be said, that in many ways the narrative of the movie is utterly, dourly Marxist, just like Che himself. Individuality is never emphasized. The rebels are a faction of green-cloaked faceless, impersonal tools of the revolution. The enemy is faceless and flavorless. There is a polemic to be followed to its resolution, a system to install, with a distaste for the decadence of feeling or style. The personal needs of man are not to be bothered with.

This deep narrative Marxism aside, the politics of Che lie mostly in what is omitted. We see Che as a serious Marxist, we see Che as a celebrated critic of U.S. Imperialism, we see Che as a noble rebel who protects the poor in theory and practice, we see Che as a caring doctor, we see Che as a tender father. These moments do not feel exaggerated, but there is only a rare glimpse at the controversial side of Che, who by most accounts was in charge of executing political prisoners during the early days of Castro’s regime, and who is reported to have taken specific delight in executing dissidents, homosexuals and religious leaders, and is even accused of torturing children. Conveniently, the brutality attributed to Guevara and Castro falls in the narrative hole between the two movies. We do see Che command the swift execution of a rapist, severely mitigating his only depicted act of violence as a just cause. Soderbeg can deal his hand with the straightest of faces because he’s already loaded the deck in every conceivable way.

So what do we make of Che after spending 4.5 hours with the Soderberg treatment? Is there any sense of the pop icon plastering hipster T-shirts today? Not really. We see a serious rebel who coasted to victory with Castro, who built up a mysterious bad-ass rep despite being mostly quiet and noble, and once left to his own devices failed ineptly to lead a revolution nobody wanted.

The parallel structure of the two movies begs for some kind of directorial point of view, which is wholly absent. Why did the Cuban revolution succeed but the Bolivian campaign didn’t? Was Castro the secret ingredient? Was the disaffection the rebels tapped a local phenomenon that sputtered on the continent? Was Che ultimately just a dullwood who looked cool in a photo but lacked a real life quality of inspiration?

These questions are not so much provoked by Soderberg’s movie, but mulled over in the boredom of enduring yet another scene in the jungle where nothing is happening.

This Week’s Twitter: 2010-01-31

Dorrk.com — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 00:02:00 +0000

"Red" envelope indeed: Netflix just delivered Soderbegh's 42-hour "Che" biopic. If I haven't finished it by Friday, send the CIA to kill me. #
Rob Zombie is an interesting movie director. I'd even say "good." His main problem? Too much "Rob Zombie." Also, not so good as a writer. #
Can Rob Zombie be less "Rob Zombie" without losing that "Rob Zombie" feeling? (He being Rob Zombie, he already has it in spades.) #
Enduring Z's Halloween 2 (with sick baby sleeping on my chest) before I get to start "Che." Now, Zombie's "Che" – that I would pay to see. #
Halloween2 is not good, of course, but still hints at Zombie's promise. When he shows restraint: wow. When he doesn't: overkill. Literally. #
Yes, it takes me 4 hrs to get through a single movie. Crying baby + work + ADD. No kidding the impending Che-a-thon will be epic at my rate. #
Our Constutional-Law-Professor-in-Chief's SOTU Supreme Court flub, explained: http://bit.ly/9YwN3j via @addthis #
Watching original Parent Trap with daughter. Haley Mills in short hair looks like an alien, or Mena Suvari. #
Finally making time to watch Soderberg's two-part Che biopic. The interminably slow opening map sequence does not bode well for pacing. #
Castro's 1957 invasion of Cuba looks like it was filmed on the island from "Lost." Will Batista get eaten by a cloud of black smoke? #
Half hour in, Che is quiet, compassionate, and a somewhat bumbling soldier. It's a bloodless revolution! #
This is more of the same VH1 treatment as in Motorcycle Diaries. Expect Soderberg to put some edge in here at some point. #
Ah, becoming a bit of a ball-buster now. (diificult to tweet and keep up with subtitles). #
1st good scene: Che bemused by Manhattanite socialites fawning over him at 60s cocktail party. Probably looks a lot like film's wrap party. #
Finally a gunfight. This revolution was starting to resemble a particularly joyless nature walk. #
First peek at Che the executioner, but the circumstances weren't unreasonable: he passes a death sentence on a rapist. #
He's a champion of literacy, natch, earning his future cred with bookstore hipsters. #
About 1/2 way thru PT. 1, feels too sober so far. Was it wrong to hope 4 "Out of Sight"-like style, or Luis Guzman as foumouthed rebel? #
"Baader Meinhoff Complex" set a high standard for edgy, stylish depiction of Marxist revolutionaries. Che suffers from solemn reverence. #
First Che movie I saw was arthouse doc about Bolivia days. Boring. MC Diaries, listless. Convinced now Che was simply a dullwood in camo. #
Nearing Havana, and no real illustration of how Castro's rebels continue to dominate Batista's armies. Godfather 2 nailed it with 1 scene. #
Battle scenes in Che are sterile like GI Joe combat: lots of gunfire, few casualties. Only empathetic rebels get close-up injury or death. #
Che is a chronology stripped of thematic or narrative substance. Few characters, little tension, not even caricatured villains. The point? #
First empathetic characters are the Batista underlings left dangling in Santa Clara as their superiors desert them while demanding loyalty. #
He's so principled, but moments earlier a man was trembling at the sound of his name. Why? End of PT1 and Che's reputation is an enigma. #
Not watching pt2 tonight. Match of the Day beckons. Maybe the revolution continues tomorrow. #
FWIW, for pure Castroite propaganda, I'll take the beautiful I Am Cuba any day. Soderberg's first half is so aimless, not even provocative. #

Enduring Z’s Halloween 2 (with…

Dorrk.com — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 05:36:49 +0000

Enduring Z’s Halloween 2 (with sick baby sleeping on my chest) before I get to start “Che.” Now, Zombie’s “Che” – that I would pay to see.

Can Rob Zombie be less “Rob Zo…

Dorrk.com — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 05:31:39 +0000

Can Rob Zombie be less “Rob Zombie” without losing that “Rob Zombie” feeling? (He being Rob Zombie, he already has it in spades.)

Rob Zombie is an interesting m…

Dorrk.com — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 05:25:34 +0000

Rob Zombie is an interesting movie director. I’d even say “good.” His main problem? Too much “Rob Zombie.” Also, not so good as a writer.