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I really, really, really don’t like music aimed at kids. It drives me crazy, and is usually complete crap. I’m sure the logic behind it is that parents don’t want their kids exposed to adult ideas, but also aren’t going to be picky about quality for their kids, so any old crap with a happy gloss will do. But why do we want to raise our kids on crummy music?

At my sister’s house this week for her daughter’s third birthday, my 8-year-old nephew was dancing around to "oldies" ("Twist and Shout," etc.) as recorded by a chorus of obnoxious kids backed by tinny orchestration and a drum machine. I don’t see the point. Is there something too rique about The Beatles’ version of the song? Not at all, and it is a far sight more pleasant to listen to, what with its actual musicianship. Strangely, this CD also included the same cast of moppets singing The Jackson Five’s "ABC," because, I guess, listening to a talented 8-year-old sing the song is not appropriate whereas 5 talentless 8-year-old are perfect for the undiscriminating child.

We don’t buy or play this kind of music for Maggie, age 2. Sure, sometimes she gets exposed to it via TV shows she likes (like Barney), but for pure listening she prefers Elton John (from his Muppet Show appearance). I myself don’t recall listening to much in the way of music aimed directly at kids. By the time I was 9, I was addicted to "America’s Top 40," and prior to that I devoured my grandpa’s collection of Beatles and Ricky Nelson 45s, so I don’t even understand this genre of music froma nostalgic point-of-view.

The best kids music we’ve heard is from They Might Be Giants’ educational video "Here Come the ABCs." Beyond that, Maggie listens to whatever we want to listen to (plus Elton John, who usually isn’t on our playlist). Sure, we show some discretion, but we don’t feel the need to insulate her in a bubble of artificial happiness.

In fact, tonight while driving home from a trip to the store that featured a total tempermental breakdown by our daughter, my iPod’s track shuffling landed on the song "Disintegration" by The Cure, which struck me as just about the perfect music for two-year-olds, anyway.

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